PeSkY meEee

Imperfect me

2012-01-25T01:42:00.001+05:30

It's been a crazy month. Had a great time in Disney land saw all my favourite charachters .. Felt like a kid, I actually behaved like one and I enjoyed it thoroughly .. I was so excited that the next post that I wanted to write a huge blog about my experience and how I even cried cos it's been my childhood dream to go to Disney but all in vain... I am writing this post with tears rolling down my eyes, being absolutely cynical, more cynical than I have ever been. I wonder why I even learnt the meaning of that name in the first place... I know we all are imperfect.. But it's just too annoying to talk to any person that I know... They keep annoying me at one point or te other make me feel that I am living for them like I am supposed to adapt to their lifestyle, their daily routine, their way of living. May it is my fault that I even let them take me for granted I try to think of other things I like. Like music. But even that is ruined. I know it just a bad phase we all go through it but what's the point when you have no one to listen to you in such a bad state .. That is exactly what I am going through.. No one wants to talk to me not even mr. S :( feels gloomy and depressed although It is a lovely day and I got my first ever salary it still feels weird :( wish there was a way that people understood about other people just by looking or feeling the vibrations and react accordingly.. May be they are selfish.. May be they we all are selfish and think about others unhappiness as our happiness an vice versa.. Or may be this is just a sign to search my inner peace.. So many distractions and disturbance that I don't even know what I am looking for... I know all this but the only thing I don't understand is how do I do it.. Or may be consider life as a moment of spontaneous happiness and keep it for a long enough to make me pas through even phases like these or may be I just need music and dance.. It's all very clear but still so unclear.. In the end of the day all that matters is how connected are we to our inner peace ..I have no idea what I am talking but strangely I am not crying anymore xos I know I have my blog to ran out my feelings :) cheers to my blog :) for making me smile or atleast making me stop crying but eventually the credit goes to me to end my evergreen depression.. I just realize my post sounds as dumb as my tweets that is probably why I like tweeting as well.. Off to college for now .. And wishing for the best :)

....

2011-10-23T01:23:00.003+05:30

I wonder why are we arguing ? I wonder what is it that is expected from a relation ? Its eating my head like the maggots eating up on flesh. I wonder if I have any brain after all the dumb things I did. I wonder what is it that he expects from me ? but all that I know is that I ruined this relationship... With my own hands... metamorphic ally yes it is ...

the love and the LOVE

2011-10-22T21:53:00.003+05:30

There is Love and then there is LOVE... The love that people can see and then there is love that people don't see but people can feel but what if there is a time when the love cannot be seen and cannot be felt does it mean that there is no love ? What is love ? I wonder. I ask myself a million times. I keep questioning myself a zillion times but I am not sure what it is or what I feel it is. All I know is there is just love and it is always there no matter what. No matter how bad things get. No matter to what extent a relationship goes to it is always there. But what if the other person doesn't feel the love from me and feels there is no more love or caring. I don't really understand what I am typing at this point but it has never been clearer to me that all I wanted was to just be with you. I wonder how relationships break ? because of cheating on each other ? because of flirting with the opposite sex ? because of not understanding each other ? or just because one of them feels there is no love from the other and eventually moves on. Relationships are complicated. Obviously there are two opposite sexes involved in a relationship there are two different lives involved. There is no way that there can be a relationship that is hassle free and has no issues. with each other but a true relationship is one that can come over or face each others situation and not feel offended... Life is never easy.. the older you get the more complicated it gets. I wonder why we grow old. I hate growing old. I am not sure if people like being older but I definitely don't like it at any cost... I wish there was a easier way for things to handle them but then this is life.. they say life teaches you but it is also said that life teaches you in the harder way... hope and faith drag me through each day... Hope that some day I will be a better person, a better lover and a better wife.

mistakes in life can be corrected but you can never get back that part of life which you wasted living doing that mistake!!

The thin line....

2011-10-21T05:16:00.003+05:30

Every relationship has a thin line.... It is pretty obvious... And by a line I mean a level of saturation for each other due to their mistakes.... Either of them has to change or compromise but beyond this point a relationship cannot really last... It could last if they are meant to be with each other no matter what.... If the end purpose of a relationship is to stay together they " will" stay together... I don't know why a girl is always the physchotic character in a relation she is the one who acts dumb, who screws up a relation , who throws all the tantrums , who does all the drama... But when two people like each other and want to be with each other but either of them reaches the thin line that I was talking about and is almost in a situation where they cannot take it anymore from the other... The relationship depends on this person if he wants to take it any further or not.. According to me a relationship is a relationship and not just a mere possession to each other or a license to make love just because they are termed gf-bf ... When they get into a relationship they get into it so that they can be with each other no matter what... the minute a relationship ends they do not have a chance to actually start a new one... If that was the case if we dint like our parents or our siblings would we want replacements ? Ok I guess I am being just plain dumb here but I grieve for my mistakes and repent for the stupid things that I did to make someone feel "not" loved.. I feel my heart turn into ice every time I hear that word... From their mouth... I don't want it to end at any cost... I hope it doesn't... I fall asleep om my bed with a little hope and faith that tomorrow is going to be a better day...

Ending this post in a sad note... Hoping to delete it soon and replace it with a happier post so that I don't remember that I went through all this pain and made him feel this pain because of me....

the distance

2011-09-05T03:17:00.003+05:30

The distance is between us is measurable but not the love,

this is the only topic I talk about and it is always about you my love.

I miss you like never before but I don't want to tell it to you like ever,

Cos I know we are gonna stay apart for a while and no one can change that never.

Things that remind me of you , Things that I wish I could share with you,

Or even be doing with you.

I yearn for the time that I will be holding your hands and lay on your arms,

Till death do us apart, I wait for you my love.

P.s - I don't know what I typed it was all spontaneous, I might edit it later but all that I know is I miss him like hell..

Love

Peskyme... :) *with a tear in my eye*

....

2011-08-07T13:41:00.002+05:30

As usual I have no title for my post. I Just have a bag full of mixed emotions right now. I feel something is wrong but I dono what it is, I just went for an eye check up. I ll have my lunch and get out of my house. My house feel really sad right now. It doesn't make me feel happy or excited to just sit at home and do nothing but stare at FB or Gtalk or Twitter ( well, that is what I do most of the day) Need to get myself out of home at any cost. Hopefully there will be a change on my mood once I am out.

1857

2011-08-02T16:36:00.003+05:30

Revolt of 1857

???

No, I am not gonna write about history here. Ohri's 1857 was the place I went yesterday and its a lovely place for going in the night. It is a lovely place to "wine, dine and unwind" just like their tagline suggest. :)

He always wanted to take me there and dine with him. I wanted to dine as well and yesterday was the perfect day as is turned out. He loves being in the state of half highness and talk whatever he feels like and some how no matter what he talks I find it nice to have that conversation with him. I enjoyed every single minute I was there. The place is by necklace road which is built to join hyderabad and secunderabad across the man made lake 'hussain sagar'. Trust me its a lovely sight. We sat in the corner with these cute candles with were flickering like real ones but were battery operated. Low couches. Fell on his heart just to hear it beat. Love listening to it. The way he kept seeing me and pushing my hair across my forehead and putting it behind my ear. We spoke a lot. I am rather short of words. Seems like my range of vocabulary has come down. Should make a point to improve it. Wish I took pictures with him in that place but I still have those memories with me. I googled for this place and found a couple of pics.

This is the entrance and the bar in front...

This is the right side of the place, the bluish colour in between is hussain sagar :)

And this is the left side from the entrance.. A better view of the lake...

Told you the place was good, but if you are still not satisfied you should go there and check it out yourself. :)

my deserted blog

2011-07-27T18:21:00.002+05:30

I realize ever since I got back from college, things have changed. For the good definitely but some instances that made me think, some that made me cry ( or rather more that made me cry, probably cos I am way too sensitive and cant take "no" for an answer ). We all like things to happen the way we want them to happen but we also have to realize that they don't some times. There are people who don't like to see you happy and wish things got screwed in your life or may be god just decides to give in a hard situation to handle and make him ask for things. I don't believe in idol worship but that doesn't mean I am an atheist, I feel very spiritual and its just that I don't realize it most of the times. I love writing my blog , no matter who reads or doesn't, I love writing but then since I am at home, things are supposed to be more easier and I was supposed to be updating more cos I like writing but it is the other way round. I always have my mother on my back to read what I write. Sometimes I wonder if she even wants to read my thoughts and my mind. I don't blame her, shes my mom after all. Its just that I haven't lived up to her expectations like any other daughter I know. But somehow I am better than a lot of people I know. I don't say I am the best but I am not in the bottom of the good daughters but definitely not at the top.

As for my life, I ll be going to america in less then a month and I am trying to prepare myself for that. I don't want things to change at least not to a drastic level where people go oh pesky you've changed so much. Even If they do I hope I change for the good and not for the bad. I need to restrict myself and update my blog more often once I leave to the us. I ll miss raven more than ever. Most relationships I've been hearing about have been breaking off. I know mine wont cos neither of us want to end this relationship. It is not some boyfriend girlfriend game that we are playing. I donno what love is but he makes me happy that is all that matters to me. I hope my parents understand this fact and not make things more difficult to me.

"NEW YORK" !!!

Wonder how different that is gonna be like. This just includes more strange and weird people into my life and I should begin to accept them whether good or bad after all I 've lived in Raichur. How bad could NY be. :)

And strangely I was crying at the beginning of this post listening to Nasha from shaitan and now all of a sudden after that one smiley that I just put up I feel a lot more better. My best companion as ever is definitely music. should be doing this more often rather than crying and losing my temper.

I 've been watching way too much gossip girl off late, that just made me end this post with xoxo , wonder what that even means. :P If you happen to read this post completely please do let me know what xoxo means :D Thank you for reading if at all you survived through the post.

Guess someones back in action (that's me, if u r wondering and I was talking about blogging, this rather seems like a long post, at least longer than my usual posts :) )

cheerrsssss :) :) :)

2011-05-11T00:24:00.001+05:30

Music makes me happy... Happy music makes me happier...

the song that saved me...

2011-04-19T18:35:00.002+05:30

Well, may be not literally but yes I do love certain songs and they all actually make me feel HAPPIER no matter how bad my mood is. My previous post I don't remember the reason for all that pain I was going through but I remember the day. I heard the same song atleast 170 times and Yes it did save me. Stopped me from thinking of all the stupid thoughts that kept popping in my head. objected me from thinking of the happier times in my life more than the sad and painful times.

Inbam intha bodaiyalaye

2011-04-10T16:04:00.002+05:30

Wish I could just take away the pain. I don't like myself. I don't wana go through what ever I am going through right now. Even a happy song like the one I am listening to sounds so depressing and makes me want to hurt myself. I don't want this feeling to stay. Prefer just killing myself. If only I had the courage to do something like that. I don't even have to go through this feeling cos I wont be here anymore. Wow. I am talking utter crap. I don't know whom else to tell how I feel. I cant stop myself from thinking all this shit. I hate myself.

Its a century... :D

2011-04-08T22:52:00.004+05:30

I am surprised I wrote 100 posts on my blog. :) No wonder I ve crossed 14,000 tweets on twitter :P I guess I shouldn't be surprised after all. :P I am glad in a way because most of my posts on the blog are always when I am happy :) It reminds me of all the happy moments I 've spent. *unlike the photos that I keep loosing* ;) I also realized I use a lot of smileys *giggle giggle*

I came on my blog to write a sad blog about how I feel but felt the 100th post was not supposed to be something "SAD". It is more like, when sachin tendulkar hits a century and India losses the match. :P

Thats it for the special 100th post. guess there was nothing as special, but 100 is a special number. After all. Glad, I've made it so far. Hopefully, will be making another century soon. with that note this post comes to an end. :)

P.S - Not all my blog posts have been published. So, officially this is not the 100th post :P

IF I WERE

2011-04-05T19:31:00.006+05:30

If I were the girl whom everyone loved, If I were the one who attracted the crowd,

you wouldn't feel a thing and yet feel it is all just fun.

If I were to hang out with guys and guys loved my company,

I don't give a damn about you and enjoy the presence of another guy whom I like,

Put my hands over his shoulders and giggle in his ear.

If I was the girl whom everyone loved,

I wonder if you would still feel the same.

I am sure you still will because there are so many "IF'S" in what I just said

and you don't think any of this would come true.

I wish I could be the perfect girl for you.

I wish I din't complain as often.

I also wish that you din't bother realizing that you ignored me,

The damage is done and it is better left unattended.

P.S - I still love you.

LOVE IS CONFIDENCE AND NOT JEALOUSY.

2011-03-31T19:34:00.004+05:30

When your companion's phone is continuously engaged, a frustrated feeling that "How can my beloved be happy in other's company ? ", is jealousy. Believing that "His/her phone may be out of order" is confidence.

By earning a thousand rupees a day you may become a millionaire in terms of money in ten years, but by spending 'productively' with your child one hour per day makes the kid a millionaire in terms of wisdom.

Suppose you are a ten year old kid and your friend tells you that his elder brother sent him a bicycle from America on his birthday. If you think that "HOW NICE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN IF I TOO HAD A BROTHER IN AMERICA", it is a natural feeling. But if you imagine, "HOW NICE IT WOULD BE IF I GO SOON TO AMERICA AND SEND A CYCLE TO MY YOUNGER BROTHER", it is love.

Understanding feelings, sharing sorrows, taking solace on other's shoulders, going together to movies, gossiping, sending messages, internet chat etc is normally considered as friendship.

Not bothering the friend with your sorrows that have no salvations, not giving impractical solutions, correcting when the other person is going in a wrong path, let your friend know the value of time and cutting down gossip etc is love.

People say, "LOVE DOESN'T DEMAND ANYTHING IN RETURN". But if we think truthfully, there are many expectations from others.

TO MAKE THE BOND STRONGER, ALWAYS THINK WHAT YOU ARE GIVING RATHER THAN WHAT YOU ARE EXPECTING.

-Yandamuri Veerendranath.

P.S- Found this old paper cutting in the cupboard. Old one, but felt like sharing.

Courtesy - Bhanu kiran chandram.

uhhh

2011-03-11T12:22:00.002+05:30

I realized I have more drafts and leave them as drafts rather than actually posting them on my blog. They are not against someone or something in particular but I 'd rather leave them as drafts instead of posting them on my blog. Its just something I don't want people to read. :(

Poetic ? May be could try.

2011-03-06T23:12:00.005+05:30

I know the way you are, I know your feelings like no other,

I understand you like you 've never thought someone could,

But, you just make things worse than I though, it would.

I love you for who you are, would never want you to change no mater.

Try not to understand why I rant, and try to show more that you care.

For a person like me, I deserve no other and it is same for each other.

I can't believe I wrote 6 six lines all together and may be I could go on like this, forever.

We are never meant to be apart, like the thoughts that set us apart.

No matter how silly you are and how dumb I am we still are, meant for each other.

oxox------THE END -----xoxo

This is something totally random.

I don't know why I choose this song. It was a random pick :)

I just Want you to be under my umberella *spelling mistake, intended* :P

Its all coming back to me now.... :)

2011-02-27T16:27:00.002+05:30

The love was there, the love is there and the love will always be cos it is here to stay. As long as our hearts beat, the love will just stay the same. Every relationship has complications after all we are the opposite sexes, no matter how compatible they are they will have misunderstandings eventually. I love the consoling that happens after we go through a huge fight on obviously dumb things. I always keep imagining how I could fall in love with an idiot like you but that is what made me fall for you, so why do you have to change for ANYONE ? definitely not for me. As long as you still love me. :) I cant stop thinking about you. You make me fall in love with you all over with you like I would have in the first time I saw you. I miss you like hell.

You are the my prince charming and we have the most amazing happily ever after fairytale I can ever imagine of. You are my Wall E and I am you eve aaah :) * sounds a little dumb, but this is my favorite among all the couples I 've ever come across *

No matter how bad things get, no matter haw big a fight we have, eventually both of us know that you want me and I want you. That is what a happy couple stands by for.

With lots and lots of love

Peskyme :)

Newwww

2011-01-05T10:13:00.003+05:30

So whats so new after all ? Its a new year. It should be a new start. But I some how still feel the same. The only thing I don't like about yet another year passing by is the fact that I am going to be a year older. But I think "old age is always 15 years older than what you are" so no matter how old I am I am still 15 years younger than old age ;). Bad logic, but works for me.

Its jan 5th today and already 5 days of the new year has passed by. It also happens to be Mr. S bday. Exited, but sad that may be I wont be able to get out of home to meet him. I desperately want to though, Just hoping something/someone comes up. *fingers crossed*

I get inspired to write more specially when some one I know is reading my blog. I always feel no one is really interested in my crap but sometimes I just get inspired by Mr. S.

Damn, I miss my phone. When I was in hostel I could update from any where but mostly it was when I was sleeping. Now I dont have a phone nor do I sleep alone, my mom is always there.

Wow, I complaint so much. Should reduce, should reduce.

I am just hoping my gre goes well. A school friend of mine from 6th grade gave me a couple of tips yesterday feel very enthusiastic to start reading but I am not in for it today. But will give it a shot.

As for the rest, I am being a little less frustrated/irritated lately. I remember times when I would go on twitter and just rant my feelings out. As far as I remember, I Dont think I have been doing that from a long time. So, now thats a good sign.

New year resolution - well, I havnt made any as such but I think I should make it a point to update my blog more often. Just so that I have my memories with me everyday and everytime that I read them, I get the same feeling I had when I wrote them.

A very happy and awesome new year to everyone....

Cheeerrrrsssss !!!! :)

Frustration overload.

2010-10-29T13:20:00.004+05:30

Need something to make me normal. I Don't mind having Mr. S. but thats the whole problem negative atmosphere around me to not have Mr. S. :( . Feel like crying my heart out. Feel like taking it out and showing it to the people around me that this is what I want. I dont want money or fancy cars or huge houses with air conditioner in every room.

The frustration is building up day by day I try not to get involved in talks about it. But THEY DRAG ME INTO IT ! Don't I have the right to keep someone happy ? To make someone smile when that person is around me. Should I sacrifice both our lives ? I DON'T WANT TO!!! I'd rather wish the world came to an end in 2012 so that I don't have to go through anymore trauma. How do I prove the world that you are all I need.

first I get irritated then there is frustration which keeps building up over and over and over. like a skyscraper with infinite floors and then there comes the "head ache" to top it off like a small cherry on top of a HUGE DISGUSTING CAKE !

I don't want anything but you. I hope we can stick up to that.

Forever yours.

WISH THIS COMES TRUE!

P.S - (to god) - please please please please please...

I'm blue :]

2010-10-21T10:59:00.002+05:30

I'm blue dabade dabada dabade dabada... :D lol yeah thats my blog.. wish I knew how to take a screenshot everytime I change my templete.. Just as a remembrance of how my blog was. I still remember the first time that I started blogging, I had a horrible templete and I completely hated it. Anyway there is nothin much on this post. Wanted to write so much yesterday but backed off because I got upset about something. Anyway there is nothing so important on my blog anyway.

I finish this post soon because I want to save all the good stuff for later.

Will post it up pretty soon.

Have a good day !!!

CHEERS !!! :)

:-/

2010-09-24T18:10:00.003+05:30

I make such a bad company for people who know me. I dont know what is in my head and I dont know how to tell it when I have to. I dont want to hurt you but I ALWAYS DO :( .

I never think before I speak something and always expect you to know it. I hardly think before I talk and you always realize I talk crap.

Even I realize it only after I finish saying it to you. I know I 've messed up things a long time back and it would take a long time to repair it but I really wish things were better at least I was better, a better person, a person who spoke more legibly in front of you. Some one who would make sense in what she talks BEFORE SHE OPENS HER MOUTH TO TALK.

I don't know how to make it up to you each and every time, I feel guilty to even say that I am sorry. Because it seems rather like a mistake done intentionally, And, like my aim is to hurt you every single time we have a talk.

But eventually There is one thing I always realize that I do love you after all.

No Title...

2010-09-21T22:41:00.003+05:30

Damn, I am such an idiot. Why do I always expect things to go my way ? I M DEFINETLY NOT GOD!

I am not sure what happened but she seems very happy... his friends gf... ( I presume ) and he was with them to rejoice the moment. I dont have a clue as to what is happening.. But I definetly miss talking to you and that small time I get to talk to you is also become worthless..

Anyway, I am off to sleep for today with the hope that you will , rather, we will have a chat, a proper one tomorrow.

Gone Into my dreams...

FLYING!!!

Goodnight...

Sweetdreams....

You happy... me happy ... all happy....

2010-09-20T23:36:00.003+05:30

And finally the day he was waiting for had arrived.. something special.. something we dint plan for.. glad for this day.. More than Happy to see that small :) when he types a text or puts it up because of something that happened.. now dont ask me what is was but conclusion is....

You HAPPY

ME HAPPY

ALL HAPPY :)

Nothing more that I could have asked for than that smile on your face...

The question always remains why do you love me so much ?

......

2010-09-19T22:41:00.003+05:30

So, There I go again. Make a blunder and pretend like everything is just fine. I hate myself for every time I do that.

Damn, Its hard to realize and change.

I saw a couple of videos after we had that small conversation, made me wonder that life is a lot more than what you actually think.

Nothing is impossible, You probably heard it a million times but we just read it and then move on. But today it really did make me think not sure how long it will last but it is making me think a lot. It makes me think what I am doing ? The fact is sooo stuck in my head that even though I so badly want to write a long apology letter for you, M not able to, I hope you understand that I am really sorry. I know how you feel and shouldn't have taken any fight for soo long. My mistake.

Anyway here is the video.

I don't know y I am so philosophical all of a sudden but I just want you to know, no matter how much I complaint, no matter how much I argue, I only want you.

And I am really very sorry for that stupid thing I did. :(

P.S - <3>

miss you RAICHUR

2010-09-08T15:56:00.004+05:30

Four years in Raichur, the place I did my graduation, the place I hated the most, the place that gave me creeps every time I thought about, is finally over. But I guess all those rants about this place turned me into a new person, a better person, a different person with more confidence than ever before.

I enjoyed every moment *well almost* :P.

Pain. left drafted

2010-08-13T22:03:00.006+05:30

This was something I wrote long back, don't remember the date but was when "S" told me that I was talking like Revathi* .

This was basically because he never talks to me and I keep complaining that he doesn't spend much time talking to me.

You compared me to some girl, I don't care about. You don't have to do that. . Hope you know there is a lot of difference between her and ME.
You think I am asking you to stop doing what ever you are doing, I am not, but I think I deserve a few more minuted of you life. To hear you laugh, to hear you talk, to listen to what is happening in your life, to make me feel I AM A PART OF YOUR LIFE.
May be I should not expect that from you. I never knew I love you so much as I do right now. The pain is unbearable. Sorry is probably of use because I said things I shouldn't have told and I know what you are going through. The same pain but for a different reason.

It is my fault, it is always. I am sorry.

You are the only love of my life. The only person whom I wish filled the emptiness within me that I am goin through.

I could be expecting a lot from you. But expecting LOVE IN RETURN ? Is that a sin ? A love in return, a love to comfort me, a love to share, a love of selfless care, I know you love me but this is not how things are supposed to be.
I want you to fill every drop of blood, every beat of my heart and every molecule of air *I breathe*.

I will try not to disturb you.I know you are pissed off at me but I don't want you to be angry and for a ZILLION TIMES I WOULD REPEAT

I AM NOT "REVATHI"*

Random ramblings

2010-08-12T01:35:00.004+05:30

Ok.This is after a long gap. My last post was dumb and I still havn't edited it . Need to wait to get my hand on a computer. Got my exams going on. Wanted to write something now cos in a few weeks time I will be done with college for my lifetime. I ll be graduated. That sounds like a big name but I don't really thing I am all tat big. I still feel like a kid. May be thats how I feel. Two exams got over, have 5 more left. I read a blog today about how facebook and twitter influenced his life and eventually made him deactivate either of his account. After reading it, I immediately wanted to remove my accounts as well. But I thought, why do I tweet. I realised twitter is more like my mini blog. You need not write something interesting or useful. You just write how you feel. And thats what I use twitter for. My blog of 140 characters with more than thousands of post, that is twitter for me. I like most of what people write on twitter by my followers, if not I wouldn't have come across that blog today. That is the very same reason why I blog.
Anyway can't wait to watch "despicable me" heard a lot about the movie. Wish I can see it with *you*. As for now, time to sleep, get up tomorrow and finish the rest of the portion. Got an exam on friday.
Good night :)

Midnight damn I make really bad titles

2010-08-03T03:11:00.002+05:30

Its 2 30 in the night..
I have an alarm set at 7 30.
With 5 hours left for me,
I wait for dreams to take me over.
This sounds like a poem and yes it is.
The thoughts are killing me, y can't life be a little more easy.
I am at the end of my college life, waiting for my exams to commence, but I don't want the loneliness around me even if I don't care.
This is a dumb poem if u already realised and yes it is spontaneous cos thats how my mind plays fair.
Its past 2 30 and my room mates alarm just went off, guess she wil get up now to study.
This would have been better if it were not a poem but i some how feel very poetic, right now and I know I am a bad poet but I still continue.
The next time I decide to write a poem it wil not be all that bad because now I know wat a bad poet sounds like.

I want to write more till I see you in the dawn of the sun, in the hum of the birds. You r far away that only the cool breeze makes me feel you r next to me when you r actually miles away.

I try not to write of you in every post that I write but alas, I guess you are stuck in my heart and mind.

I love you, for your love to me. FOREVER.

P.S - sorry if i tortured you with my so called poetry .. If u think it was not all that bad do drop in a comment. Thank you. :)

updates from my life - exams from 9th to 23rd of august... Planning to go on a trip to some place after exams with college friends.. Mr S got a job... And is ill right now... Hope he's better by tomorrow... *Get well soon* .. My so called hang "fakey" is officially split and I doubt if we 'll get back.. Haven't been posting much cos i don't have a comp n mobile is my only means.. The last time i tried writing a post everythin got screwed cos i clicked cancel instead of "ok" on my mobile after writing the post... Will update my blog more often after I get back home... Last month of college... *guess tats too much update abt ma life* *time to sleep*

zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZ....
CheerSSSSSSSsssssss....
GOOD NiGht... :)

YEHAAAAA!!!!!

2010-06-24T18:29:00.008+05:30

So Finally my wish came TRUE :D ...

If you haven't read my blog ever before than here is a gist.

I 've hated my birthday every single year that I celebrated it in my college in raichur... I 've hated hanging out with many people I hate. I would always love to be with ONE SINGLE FRIEND THAT I ACTUALLY, REALLY LOVE.... I wanted to be with people or atleast one person who truely loves me.. and that would literally never get something like that... I dint want costly materialistic stuff.. I would be happy with this...

And so here it is, the day that I completely lost hope of even dreaming of....

Never been more happy...

Loved every moment spend, every touch, every breath and every second of being around some one so special :]

P.S - I love U

If you din't make out still... It was my birthday :) "yesterday"

And enjoyed being with my "LOVE" *battling eyes*

Last but not the least, a cake for all my lovely readers...

Cheeeerrrrrrrrsssssssssssss!!!

Twitter world

2010-05-30T22:40:00.002+05:30

Its time I wrote about my journey in twitter. May be too early to predict things but this is how I've felt and how I came across, this unknown world called "TWITTER" .

Twitter is an amazing tool, a marvelous creation, an extra ordinary platform to showcase yourself and get to know new people and share new thoughts. I am sure twitter is not what I KNOW, there is actually so much about it.
I opened my account around mid 2008, never knew much about it ( I still don't know much ). I kept reading about twitter on the newspapers specialli the deccan herald and the indian express ( there is always an article something related to social networking be it facebook, twitter or my space or whatever...

I then opened my long lost id on twitter and found who was on it. Surprised to see celebs, amazed to see people who are quite popular just through twitter and their ability to interact with everyone. One such person I started following was @cheth . He's a really sweet person, he showed me what twitter was. I had so much fun on twitter made new friends interacted with a few like @d33pak , @daaku , @sizzler_chetan and made a small gang on twitter who tweeted like mad just like me and was very proud to find equally dumb people like :)

Twitter is all about whom you follow. I had an argument with a friend of mine who said twitter was just about following some person and his daily routine, to read what they are doing day in and out. but that was not twitter for me. Twitter is a source of entertainment, twitter is a platform of information, twitter is a stage to showcase, Twitter evolved me.

I was basically cut off from any form of information and entertainment (except for the few telugu movies I went to watch at during the stay in my hostel during college, and the two newspapers which we get in our hostel ) So, twitter rather made me a less ignorant person. I was open to new things and diversified interaction. More opinions, more thoughts and they surely helped me a lot, atleast to get rid of the negativity in me.

But there were a couple of flaws to this, I was getting addicted. (major syndrome of being on twitter for a long time) Twitter was a part of my life then on.

But there is always a way to anything you get addicted to and I still do enjoy being on twitter, even if I am not addicted like before.

THANKS TO ALL THE LOVELY TWEEPLE I FOLLOW :)

Special thanks to @arjunrockz @selina_biju @nobia_parker @frozenwell @paritoshbh @v_shakthi @nish7x and many more whose names m not able to recollect :)

The love of my life...

2010-05-28T09:44:00.001+05:30

Well... This is not something i can write in public but on second thoughts... NO ONE among the people I personally know actually reads my blog so may be its not a problem...

I admit I am finally madly in love with a person... (no names ;) but people I know must already be knowing who he is ) and so is he.... It is actually a great feeling to love and be loved in return... I always want to tell him sooooo many things about how I feel and how passionately I love him (although he knows it pretty well)...
But the scary thought that "may be" we can not be together, HAUNTS ME...:( Every single minute, every single second and at every breathe I take...

He is an AMAZING PERSON... I like him for the way he is... Frank, simple, down to earth, talkative (may be not a common thing with guys but I love listening to him when he keeps talking.... *imaging him talking to me right now**dreaming* *missing him :(* ) practical person, realistic, energetic, lively, fun, charming... And sooo many more things...
I miss the way he keeps staring at me although I try to act like everything is normal but I start blushing within myself...;)

I want him to be happy, don't wanna pressurize him at any instance ( which I normally do, although I pretty much hate it :-/ ). I neither want him to be completely focussed on me, but on second thoughts I cant help stop thinking about him when he doesn't talk to me...

To me its seems like there are actually two worlds that exist... One world where its just me and my guy and the other where the rest of our worlds live...:) and To keep up with both these worlds is really tough... :(

I don't know what love is although I am telling I am in love with this person... For me love is just about being comfortable with each other no matter what... Understanding each other... Sacrificing when needed.. And the every time he touches I just a shock like it is the first time he touched me... I love him so madly that ever since I 've been in a relationship with him, this is the only topic I write about...

I cant wait to be and spend the rest of my life with him :) , but for that there is still a long way to go.. Till then I ll keep waiting.. :)

Keep singing....

2010-05-17T21:27:00.004+05:30

Songs that make me sing over and over...

Since I am more of a person who likes dancing and enjoys good music.. I prefer dance songs under the genres like trance, techno, dance, electronic, trip hop and many more.. but basically they supposedly make me all happy and ebullient...

This is actually more of a family thing.. You know like a hereditary... :) My dad loves music , my grandfather still enjoys listening to songs.. Its so varied that they listen to just music from classical to western and instrumental.. They are not really the rock and metal but my dad likes soft rock... And so do I... Actually metal and rock tends to aggravate the intensity of my head ache.. which results in migraine..

Lol, totally diverting, anyway back to the topic...

I love music as I already said.. It makes me happy, wonder if there can actually be people who don't enjoy music...

There are soo many songs that I like, I started writing this blog thinking I could list them out, but i don't think i can because there are soo many I can't even tell which songs I LOVE :D

I ll just end this post by posting my current favorite : Wavin flag (official fifa 2010 song) by K'naan

One more time...

2010-05-16T01:46:00.015+05:30

Somethings are so nice that, You wish they happen one more time...

Celebrate childhood.

Being in school.

Enjoy college life.

Being 18.

Enjoy the advantages of being an adult, but also not bother about life.

Stay in a hostel.

Go back to the school you were studying in, with the same students in your class.

Eat your favorite chocolate or have you favorite drink or snack.

Have a crush, with the person you love.

Have really nice conversation over the phone, with an old friend.

Relax like its a sunday .

Procrastinate.

Sing the first song, that reminds you of your crush or lover.

Dance to music played by boy bands of the 90's or 80's.

Go bananas over a cute guy or girl you see on the television.

Have silly talks which make no sense at all.

Sing the rapture song or any other old popular song, even though you dont understand the lyrics.

Have a crush on your teacher/the cutest guy in school ( for guys/girls respectively )

Have your first kiss.

Watch your favorite TV show that has stopped airing on TV.

He's the one....

2010-04-26T10:41:00.004+05:30

I don't know why I have this feeling but I know that he is the one I am to be with...

Wake up every morning to you sweet face and give u a kiss on the fore head...

Lay in your arms like a baby right next to your heart and keep listening to your heart beat...

That is all I ask for...

A love with sacrifices and compromising ready to do for just you... because I know we are meant to be together... I staunch feeling that you are and will always be... For your love without any expectations, without any thought about how our future is... to love me selflessly... that is all I ask for....

I am a cold person may be, but it doesn't mean I 've stopped loving.. I just dont show it when you are around but we are apart the feeling that you are not here with me, the feeling that we can not meet, the feeling that we can not talk is strange like some one is holding my throat and gripping me to death... But I never understand why I don't tend to show you how much I actually care and love you for being the other half of my life...

Internals AGAIN... :-/

2010-04-18T21:15:00.001+05:30

I am always tensed... I hate myself for soooo many things I do... I have my internal exams from tomorrow... A week more and I will be home... Surprised I've already written 6 posts this month =D... Don't really feel like reading right now... I've already read once but not well... Just went through the portion... Why don't I get comments on my posts... Commenting is actually a kind of encouragement... Makes you want to write more... May be people don't find interesting stuff over my blog anyway I 'll still keep blogging... I am some how always scared that "my dad" might read my blog... Oh by the way I guess the habit of blogging comes from my dad, he writes a blog in tamil... And I can hardly read tamil... :-/

oh well... Internals this whole week... And saturday I will be HOMEEEEE =] Woppieeee.... But first I got to do my exams well... Dint even do my 1st internal exams well.. So no wonder I should be a little scared may be... I am more the kind of girl who likes life the easy way... *wel most of us do like it tat way, I guess*

off to studies, can't wait to blog... From My computer... :)
hugssss....

Back to black

2010-04-15T12:55:00.004+05:30

Proves my confused state.. Proud :P

I some how like the same old black.. tried learning something to do with css and html.. all I could do was put the tweet icon after every post..

looks like I have a little too many T's over my blog...

My hopeless typing...

2010-04-15T01:20:00.003+05:30

I have been using the net since a very long time probably since my 6th or 7th grade and yet my typing speed is an average of about 31 to 35 words per minute *sigh*. That is because I used the net only for chatting (basically) but later learnt to use it for doing other stuff... Learning new stuff and so on... Because of chatting all that I learnt is typing half words or short cuts, fast, but not the actual typing... Hmmm... from now on should try writing complete words. Lets see how far it works... :)

All the best to me
Laugh out loud!!!
Cheers!!!...

What Next.....

2010-04-12T11:54:00.006+05:30

I am almost at the end of my college life.... rather, the end of student life... Studying since 21 years ( well 18 years to be precise ) and learnt a lot of things although forgot most of it.. but still I do remember the basics and other stuff... For all that I know is life is going to be much harder than I can think of.. I am used to be living life the easy way.. but it is not gona be the same any more.. Have to make myself more able and confudent to meet the evil and wild world...

Just when I think that This is what I want to do... There is something new that Turns up in my mind..

A couple of months and I will be a graduate... Physically... But don't really feel the maturity in me mentally... Hmmm... Don't know if that is good or bad ... Don't know if it will just happen or do I have to do it myself...

All that I know is I want to write a book and I want to do my post graduation, most probablly my masters... Earn a little money, enough to publish a book... But before that I have to think of what I ll be writing about...

Lots of stuff running in my mind...

Updates : studying, missing someone very badly, exited that I will be home in two weeks but don't really wana go home cos I can't meet _____ :(

Oh by the way, I just decided to jot down atleast one compliment I get everyday... :)

sleep time...
Zzzzz...

My blog

2010-04-09T16:57:00.004+05:30

Why do I blog ? I just had a conversation with "X" yesterday and it turned out to be that I was being a little rude.

our conversation went something like this....

ME : hiiii :) *all happy*

X : Hi :-| *not so happy*

ME : whats wrong ? are you sleeping ?

X : yes, but I just woke up.

ME : are things fine ?

X : well.. kinda but I don't really feel nice about what happened in the afternoon.

ME : I am sorry but that was my fault. I shouldn't have shouted at you.Anyway guess what I wrote a blog post yesterday, actually wrote two.

X : Oh! what did you write about ?

ME: well don't get angry but I wrote about naga. I published it cos it was already saved in my drafts. And I wanted to write something.

X : Why did u have to publish it now ? Like you have fans waiting for you to read your blog

ME : *got angry* Its my wish. I don't care who reads my blog. I don't care even if you don't read. I write it for my satisfaction. Not to impress someone.

X : *gets angry* Fine. Do what you want I am not going to read your blog from now on.

ME : but that's not what I meant. You were the one who got all rude, first.

we continue having a couple of shouting and finally end with all mushy talks and every ones happy.

So the fact that I write my blog is not because I am trying to impress someone but I write a blog because I love writing like no one is reading it. It is some how easier for me to write what I feel than to talk about how I feel.

My blogging experience has eventually led me through a journey be a good writer some day and may be even write a novel, who knows....

And by the way how does my blog look now ? I felt the black background made my blog feel a little too dull, I myself never read what I wrote after publishing my posts but now things seem to be a little better :), with the new white background....

Updates (of my life) : started studying (got internals coming up from the 19th), don't really like talking much to people now a days, my dads joined twitter and is following me :-/ (which leaves me with an option to be less on twitter from now on), planning to write a post as frequent as possible, started following many blogs off late (turns out that many people, like me, write about stuff that comes to their mind, happy there aren't any rules to writing a blog, phewww ! ;))

Well, that's about it for the time being, should get back to hostel and have my cup of tea.

Till my next post....
Cheeerrrrssss :D

P.S - I am not gonna save any more drafts from now on, will write what I feel at that very moment. promise to my blog. Amen !

A very special person........

2010-04-08T16:47:00.001+05:30

I 've been with this person for almost as long as I remember. We live in the same house. We love each other as much as each loves the other. We did almost every crazy thing since we were kids :) , troubled our parents, although they (parents) loved us. Shared all our secrets (well, almost even now ) Although the love towards each other reduced as we grew older, both of us had our own priorities and friends and hardly spent much time together, we never realize we were beginning to fall apart and the let distance keep growing.
Eventually, Since the day, had come when I had to leave my home, to join college, We missed each other pretty much but neither showed the feeling of missing the other. We almost shared the same movies interest, so the few rare times that we bonded was when we would go watch a movie ( mostly in pvr, because it was close to our old house :) )
He would tell me almost everything, the girls he liked, the friends he had.

Until one day when I came home and he started turning pretty caring with me.He missed all those sweet times and memories we had together as kids. Only then I realized that no matter how old you become although you have those FEW exceptions you cant share about, I probably like him the most among the people in my life may be because we spent so much time together :)

He is my brother.. the sweetest brother i could ask for.. although lazy and has a few bad habits but who doesn't.. I love him for the way he is... and miss all those childhood memories I shared with him....

Da guys in ma life

2010-04-02T13:00:00.002+05:30

This post was written in the year 2008 and left unpublished that is why I am publishing now.

This is one topic i always wanted to write abt "the guys in my life"... Sounds interestin i hope... Wel... It was interestin to al da ppl i told... I jus wanted to maintain a record of al da guys tat hav been in a ma life... Al da guys i mean is apart from ma relatives...

'Guys' were one important part of ma life... Being wid gals makes me feel gay... I some hoe dont get along wel with girls... Weird... I ges...

There hav been gals in ma life right from primary classes... But there r few guys who have made an impact in my life...

but da guys who 've made an impact in ma life js left a foot print in ma life n left....... now ters js one guy left... his name is naga....NAGARJUNA YADAV....
his gf wil kill me if she sees this...

till my 10th I've always had a problem comunicating wid people (Specially guys)... thats y i hardly had anyn frnds, I mean guy friends frm skool.... I don communicate well wid guys now also but when i m alone wid them i manage to... basically i m not good in communicating wen i m in a group... anyway comin 2 tis guy naga.... hes given me a lot of support.. i ges hes da onli one who understands me da most....i love being wid him.... it doesnt make things ne different 4 him though, but he treats me as a realli gud frnd n thts enuf....

Although he's been such an impact in my life... he is no more (I mean v dont talk any more like before). There are so many thigns he finds irritating in me... according to him there are way too many... anyway this is just a post to let him know that he was always a good support for me...

when i startd writin tis post.. I had 3 guys in my mind about whom i wud b writin... but thn now i m left wid just one guy cos da rest two r pretty busy wid their lives n tey dont evn hav da courtesy 2 say hi.. its me who always hav 2 remind thm tht i m alive... da other 2 guys neway r RAVI KARKARA n DASIKA CHAITANYA...... ravi is a realli gud frn.... but hes tooo busy wid al da tension in his world.... no1 can b sweeter thn him... he must b hating me 2 wat i did wid him....lol... wat i did as in v had a fight thts it... n it was ma mistake.... but things are fine now.. and the other turned out to be AN ASSHOLE ( an understatement, but thats the only bad word I can use )

P.S - No i dont love him, he already has a gal in his life ( i think ) and so do I have a guy whom I really love and care about.

P.S.S - this was saved as a draft from a long time I just wanted to publish it cos one day in case he reads my blog he might know he was different from the rest...

P.S.S.S - V , You are the only guy in my live, n NO OTHER. I AM REALLY SORRY IF TIS POST OFFENDED YOU. I Will delete it, just in case.

All you need is love........

2010-03-20T15:53:00.008+05:30

You complete my world. I only live in half a world when I am away from you.

The only thing on my mind is you... The only thing I can think of is you... There is so much left to say but yet so less I express...

Love is a MAGICAL thing... People write proses and poetry about it... All that I know is it has changed my life... makes me feel like spending a new day with the love filled in me for you... Makes me dance, makes me laugh. makes me happy, makes me sing, makes me LOVE YOU

No, I am not talking about the beetles song.... ITS JUST LOVE THAT YOU NEED!!! :)

If you havn't loved yet you will some day but it is not just the physical relation you have with the opposite sex... it is about understanding and sacrificing for each other...

The only thing that i can think of ever since I have been with you is YOU and OUR LOVE!!!

I am not able to even find topics to blog about... you are so filled up in my mind and soul...

People...

2010-01-20T11:59:00.001+05:30

Some people never change... Even if they know its their fault they pretend to stay the same... Some people although do not commit any mistake... But still make me feel like givin a punch on their face... Some people get so annoying and keep bugging others even though they know the are irritating the person.. May be I don't have the right to talk about all this because to some one (intentionally or unintentionally) am among the type of person mentioned above...

All we care about in this world is if we are fine, safe and out of any harm hardly anyone cares about the person dying RIGHT NEXT TO YOU..!

I don't really have the proper words to speak out my heart, my feeling but atleast tried...

FOR ALL THOSE WHOM I TROUBLED IN ANYWAY.... I TRULY APOLOGIZE...

For the rest atleast "try" to be humane to others...

The year that was...!

2009-12-30T14:37:00.004+05:30

Its almost the end of 2009... Its 30th of december, today... And like every year, I miss all the fun that I had...

Started off as just another year... With fights among my friends... Nothing very exciting but as one month passed... I guess, this is when it all changed... It was my best friend's bday... And her friends (as in her college friends) landed up at her place to give her a surprise party... And I was with my friend... (kinda seemed like the uninvited guest among her friends...) Though she was pretty happy cos I was with her on her birthday...

Days went by......

I heard from my friend that one of her friend( who organised the surprise party,for my friend ) happened to be on a social networking site and just kinda bumped into him.....
We started talking got to know each other... Became good friends...

Now when I rewind and wonder what were the good things that happened to me in 2009... All that I can remember is YOU

Though there are several other unforgettable incidences like

My birthday party ( best ever in college )

The times when I would go for walking or just hang around with my friends in raichur ( we 've actually became pretty attached to each other since then )

The first time I ever went to a pub that too with the people I LOVE :)

TWITTER

BLOGGING

My newly formed gang "THE FAKEYS"

For "me" as a person.... The year 2009 has changed me a lot....
To lead a better life than yesterday and make it even more better than today.....

My confidence has been increasing day by day.....

My aspiration to become something has been increasing but the only problem is I don't really know what I want to become..... When I actually sit and wonder about this I dont really seem to move around much, I just get stuck where I AM because I am not a perfectionist in particular field and have my mind running around in all the directions possible... I just have to cut down or rather narrow down my possibilities to what I can succeed in...

May be I should be thanking a couple of friends who helped me out of all the mess I was in.... I don't think I need to take out their names cos they already know....
I am not regretting for anything that has ALREADY HAPPENED ( it can not be changed, but can be avoided by not repeating the same mistake all over again )....

Its a mew year and a new start... Things aren't the same any more and I have to act more responsibly....

To the person I LOVE!!!... I LOVE YOU!!! AND I PROMISE TO KEEP LOVING YOU TILL I AM ALIVE AND MY HEART IS BEATING!!!.......

Where are you...?

2009-12-01T10:08:00.003+05:30

You are so far away from my eyes ,
But yet so close to my heart.
Though we were right beside each other,
the company around us made us feel
as if we hardly knew each other and we were miles apart...

Some distances are not measurable.

I would love you to be at a distance close to my eyes, heart and soul.
Capture you in them, and never let you go.
Till we are meant to be together, forever,
u live in me.
With that unknown certainity of being with YOU in your arms ...!!!

Sun sign.... Astrology....

2009-11-12T00:28:00.004+05:30

I am not gonna start telling which sign is compatible with which sign or how each person of each sun sign is... This post is actually about how a friend of mine influenced me about the whole idea of sun signs and astrology...

My best friend from school has a really strange habit of reading her fate i.e finding out her astrology... May be it is pretty much natural for almost every one, most people I know do love knowing their future before there are even chances of any such thing to occur... These people actually begin to think that things happen according to our astrology and that it is our fate or destiny, It is. But for example, just because some one tells you that will meet with an accident today, you cant just sit in tat place for the whole day.. If it is meant to happen, it WILL HAPPEN!!!... Why do u have to know something and remain scared about what is going to happen and how it is going to happen...
This friend of mine, is one such astro freak... She compares anyone of any sun sign to a person she already know with that sun sign... VERY ANNOYING...! One of The first question she asks anyone, when is meets them is what their sun sign is... May be things do happen according to the compatibility with other sun signs but what is the necessary to stay that way...

Not just my friend but many more stay the same... may be its just the way they think.... There is nothing much we can do...

I myself do believe in astrology and compatibility but only up to a certain extent but just because a capricorn and a sagitarian can not get along it doesn't mean you start hating them even before you know them .... Let it be.. What if those two sun signs cant get along at least you can try being friendly with them....

Anyway as for the "updates in my life" ( which you don't really care about ;) )
I feel there is some Magic around me... ;) (My next blog about that magic :P) , college still not very exciting.... my class mates appear the same to me... being pretty close to dhanu, Ishu and sindu :) (love these guys ..... ), started writing a couple of poems as well :D .... thats about it for now...

Cheers till the next :)

Making ....

2009-11-05T18:26:00.005+05:30

This is a totally random topic, I have no clue why I wanted to write this. Anyway you must be wondering what the title is all about.(May contain explicit language) Its about making love, may be not the right kinda topic to talk about because I 've never spoken something like this in public but I just wanted to write down what I feel about the whole thing.

First off, making love is an amazing process (as said by one of my friend) it is pretty much natural but making love does'nt mean you just go around fucking people, it is meant to be shared by that special person in your life.

It may still be a taboo to many (specially in india) but it is definetly not a crime... its about showing your love to that special person and showing that you care and are ready to sacrifice evrithing for that person...
Is it wrong to make love to a person you really love ? I am sure you would say no, but on second thoughts is it really necessary to make out with that person. A relationship can just be kept innocent and pure.The more innocent a relationship stays the more longer it lasts.....

You never know what happens to your life, you can never predict your future, life keeps flowing; just like that. It is upto you to start something but upto god to end that (whether happy or sad).Definetly no one likes sad endings and at the same time you cant stop thinking about such endings(sometimes even haunts you till you have the worst nightmares)

But all that you really want is to have the best time with the person you love and hope the same from that special person..... whether it is making love or not, you just want that person to be happy...

I likes :) ;) :P

2009-10-25T01:09:00.005+05:30

-_->Watches ( and it so happens that all my watches are only B.L.U.E)

-_->IcE (like EATING IT... )

-_->Romantic comedy Movies (mostly) and sensible movies as well :)

-_->Winter

-_->MY Mom

-_->SMILE..... :)

-_->South indian filter coffee

-_->Flowers specially Red Tulips and white roses

-_->CARTOONS

-_->My NaMe

-_->Music(like who doesn't)

-_->PIANO (used to play it a long time back but hoping to get back to it soon, stil love the instrument)

-_->MY DAD (daughters love their dads.......)

-_->Cotton candy ( love the way it just melts in the mouth, the color, the texture, the sweetness ahhh so nice....:) )

-_->Spending money ( one crazy habit )

-_->Lip GLOSS (any shade any flavour jus love them

-_->British Accent ( WICKED )

-_->Chocolate cake ( of course made by me and others, but i like mine more than any other chocolate cake ;) )

-_->MORNING SLEEP ( just cant give it up )

-_->NIRAJ PUBLIC SCHOOL ( THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE )

-_->Five point someone ( the first book that I actually read )

-_->WRiTing and blogging like no one is reading ( this is the best part.... I can write anything if i feel that no one is reading my stuff... Which is dumb in a way though.. but still like it.. to be that way)

-_->BEing Single( Wish i could be single forever , or may be not ;P)

-_->ShOPPing ( ANYTHING ANYWER ANYTIME )

-_->FUsiON CooKing ( stuff that people hardly enjoy to eat when I cook )

-_->Kakatiya junior college i.e my 11th and 12th (not for the classes, but for the friends I had and got introduced to)

-_->HAVing FUN (like who doesn't :D)

-_->The child in me

-_->Casual dressing( I am simple, I am plain, I am me....:))

-_->Being alone ( some point of your life you stay alone and I ve learnt to love it )

-_->EaTinG specially pizzA :) :P (would have been a glutton if I were a guy ... in my limits just because i m a girl and girls are supposed to look good and all, second thoughts may be I am still a glutton :D :B)

-_->HOSTEL LIFE ( although I hate my college and all that , there is something nice about staying in a hostel, away from responsibilities with lots of freedom :P)

>My teenage life (...;( is over though )

>Sleeping in the class ( Almost,every single class possible)

>Wind chimes ( the sound it makes is so niceeee )

>Dancing and Singing like no one is seeing or listening to me :P

>MY best friend (ESHAAAAA)

>MY ELDER BROTHER ( dirty idiot, who is very irritating and annoying , who takes money from me most of the time, who gives me watchman duty when he has to sneak out of the house yet love him cos hes my ELDER BRO....:D and miss him very badly :( )

>Country side

>Guitar(although not a good guitarist)

>My first crush.......shhhhhh

>Tatoos(will get a tatoo done SOMEDAY soon....!!!!)

>shows on the radio like YAFI (A.k.A you asked for it) on AIR rainbow (which is not being broadcast now :( ) and chethan ki paathaala on BIG fm

These are the few of my favorite things,Some are dumb some are stupid,But these are the things I like. They aren't in any particular order.These are just a few of the stuff that I like...:)

Just felt like jotting them down....:P :D

There are many more but then don't wanna bore my readers to death (which I guess already are dealt with :P)

I gotta feeling.....

2009-10-22T22:47:00.010+05:30

I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night :)

Well it "WAS" a good night.........

A totally unexpected day... I mean night..... And listening to this song actually reminds me of probably one of the craziest thing i did till now ever :) went to a pub and DANCED at 11 :) for the first time...... IT WAS AWESOME!!!! Totally unexpected.....:P

HOW IT STARTED....
Me and a friend were supposed to go meet this other friend who was leaving the town tonight... She was pissed big time because we were supposed to be picking her up from her house but unfortunately we just reached her place and she already left for the bus stop so we instead left to the bus stop, and fortunately her bus was arriving late :) all happy though my friend was a bit pissed no clue why but he was, he told it was nothing but I could clearly see it in his face...

This guy loves making people get irritated as usual he started his stuff, he wanted my friend to stay back so that all three of us could go party some where. He actually expected that we would say no (may be) but we decided to do that and got a ticket for the next day.... All of us were excited, Specially me and my friend who was leaving cos her bus had just arrived and she decided not to go although she felt a little guilty about the whole idea, I thought this is the time to do something crazy like this, cos once we are done with college we probably wouldn't even stay in touch.She agreed and we came to my place got ready and went to this pub called firangi pani in city center at around 11.

We had been to pubs before but that was more like a private party where we knew everyone.This was the first time we went out in the night to a pub :) so we were pretty nervous at least I was a little nervous... The interiors looked scary to me because everything was new.We shifted our table three times and then finally got settled now even I felt good about the place,more comfortable and lively :P.

Me and my friends were hungry, we ordered something to eat and my friend ordered a drink for himself since the girls weren't interested in alcohol we settled for just the food although we were pretty much hungry, but all that we actually wanted to do in that place was DANCE DANCE DANCE!!! The loud music, the dim(at the place where we were eating) and dark(at the dance floor) atmosphere, the laser lights, the colourful rotating lights, the smoke, the crazy crowd actually kept us waiting to go hit the floor. We waited for the food, had a little then went to the dance floor, danced a little though we wanted to but the songs were kinda boring so we thought we ll finish our food and come back in a while and that what we did... :) me and my friends (the girls) had cola :)

We went back to the dance floor and finally my friend(the guy) said it was getting late and the place would get closed down anyway in a few minutes so we left.

THE FUN CONTINUES......
Just when we thought the night was over, as we were driving through the streets of Hyderabad and reaching my house from a long route unlike the normal closer short route, the guy wanted to go for a long drive by now we were already enjoying the show in radio called "chethan ki patshala" on BIG 92.7fm :) probably one of my favourite shows on the radio here in Hyderabad .... The way he talks with the callers, the sarcasm, the comedy, the funny accent he has (the RJ, chethan) keeps the show pretty lively even at 12 in the night. We kept driving our way through the streets listening and laughing to the show on the radio. Slowly as the energy in us began to deteriorate we all decided to retort to just relaxing and enjoying the radio with the breeze of the cool wind of the night hitting our face.... IT WAS JUST AWESOME!!!

Probably more better than dancing in the pub. The show played the songs wake up sid, the slow song from jab we met and finally jaane na kahan wo duniya hai from the movie jaane tu ya jaane na .... slow, soft, calm and ROMANTIC.... It would definitely make any guy or girl at least a person like me wonder where their soul mate is.... That one person with whom you were meant to be with RIGHT NOW that one single person meant JUST FOR YOU!!! Just as I began to sink in my thoughts I saw my friends holding their hands.... though it was actually obvious, I somehow dint really like the idea of both of them being together... but tried to avoid looking at the sight that just caught my eyes...

THE END.....
We all came home.SMILING!!! HAPPY !!!EXHAUSTED!!! For all that which just happened in that one night (TONIGHT)...
But when all of them are finally sleeping with the warm happy moments they spent,I lay awake listening to " Iktara - wake up sid " at 3am , wondering why neither of them cared to tell me that they like each other when not just me but pretty much everyone in my life and their lives find it kinda obvious that they pretty much love each other, but then on second thoughts should I be really wondering about that I could rather think of the night that just happened ............. "ONE CRAZY NIGHT" :) If at all both of them really like each other I think it is really cute and find both of them nice when they are with each other.... all the PDA that they show to each other (though I wish I dint have to watch it) all the silly fights that they have, just about everything about both of them is nice.... wish them all the luck if they really are serious about each other...... AND EVENTUALLY I AM HAPPY FOR THEM :)
Time to sleep.....
cheeerrrrsssss all :)!!!!!!............................................

Another day....

2009-10-02T23:13:00.003+05:30

october 2nd

Today is Gandhi jayanthi and not much happening at least today nothing much happened to me which rather might have been patriotic (cos it is gandhi jayanthi today)... I guess it was the same with everyone else.People busy with their lives and hardly care about showing love to the country or atleast each other. People treat it as just another holiday.
Just another additional day to take off and relax at home with wife and kids..

Woke up in the morning with an invite for a telugu movie called ganesh at 1 and I was still lying on my bed at 12 30 (damn, am I lazy) (blame it on the hoidays :P)... Eventually get out of bed and go watch the movie although I was supposed to go out with vivek I still end up watching Ganesh of all the movies :( ... Vivek felt bad, but eventually we met up after the movie, so things were fine... (though I kept feeling bad about it all the while :-/)

We end up watching wake up sid finally ...A lovey dovey movie :) till the interval and everything turns upside down, I mean I start trembling because I see a friend of mine whos been avoiding me and have absolutely no idea what he thinks :( , reminded me of all the good times we spent together but hated seeing him on such a pleasant day... Though eventually found out he did not notice me, it is kinda disturbing when everythin around u is perfect ... Its like a romantic date with your partner on a calm night under the moon lik having candle light dinner with some soft music playin in the background... And all of a sudden the song gets stuck and there is chaos in the air instead of love ...

Glad I m finally over it n there is a pleasant music still being heard in the background :) *we have a better cd and a cd player so tat nothin goes wrong* ;)

The elegible bachelors...

2009-10-01T01:53:00.004+05:30

After three months, there is a message from this guy(P) whom she always liked, which read "I am sorry, I never meant to neglect you, its just that I was pretty caught up with work and lost my phone that I din't even have the time to tell you I dint have the phone. Here's my number call me up when you are free. Waiting for your call. I seriously miss YOU!!!"
Now she doesn't know what to do, may be she just has to move on with the life shes been having, the happy life with the guy(R)she has fallen for off late, though she knows nothing is going to happen between them and both of them know that. But the message from the guy(P) whom she never expected was a shock. May be it was just a casual message and carries on with her life, to still keep loving the guy(R) who was with her though they wern't in a relationship but both of them had more valid reasons not to stay in a relationship than to actually stay in a relationship. Any problem in her life, she would turn to this guy.
The guy(P) still kept messaging her and desperately wanted to talk to her. Finally, one fine day she makes time out for herself to call him up casually and ask him how he was. This guy has fallen for her even before the three months of gap, even before she liked him (before the three months that they where apart). She comes to know from the way the guy(P) is speaking that he is very much in love with her and is ready to settle his life with her. But the least he knows is that she already likes a guy(R) in the gap that these two where apart, although she was in a not in a relationship nor was she in a position to get committed she just kept waiting for either of them to open up their hearts fully one fine day.
She was pretty confused if she should show any signs of interest in either of them. She liked both of them and respected both of them equally, but all that she could do is wait as time flies by to know who is meant for her. May be neither of them were the guys she should be with. They were just the ELIGIBLE BACHELORS IN HER LIFE.....

All she could do was wait........

The Ignorant people around me!

2009-09-30T00:48:00.008+05:30

This is NOT intended to hurt anybody's feelings.If I do I sincerely apologize specially my friends in college.

I 've been trying to find reasons or rather things to talk about or write a blog about for quite some time.I finally found this topic.I ain't really good at discussing stuff but it always amazed me how the people in my college remain to stay ignorant about things as simple as switching on the computer. They 've been stereotypical all their life and wish to remain the same. I don't say I know more than them but why don't they try to learn new things.If one person does this ,even the other does the same.If one person is not ready to do this even the other is ready NOT to do it. Why can't they change their attitude. I actually sound like I am complaining about them but I just want people to realize that this is not the way to live.You 've got to learn to live an independent life.

I am sure there are many more people in the world who are like that but I havn't come across any of them before I joined this college.

I am pretty confident they wont read this blog, I am going to list out a few things my mates spoke about and seriously wondered how can people remain so dumb in the past few years that I've lived with them.

-London is another city in India like mumbai,chennai or calcutta

-oh no!I wont use the computer, I 'll break it if i touch it.

-What do they do in the first night? Why do they turn off the lights in the movies?

-Snooker is called pullata (stick game)

-What is orkut?(when I was in first year)

-What is facebook?(when I was in 2nd year)

-What is twitter?(in 3rd year)

-Internet, google both are the same, right?

-Who cares whats happening in the world? Wonder who is bitching whom?

-Micheal jackson was a girl right?

-What's Mc. donalds?

Oh my god!There are so many more things I can talk about.I am sure they will kill me even if they read what I wrote. Its actually just the frustration in me about that place and the people there. They can't change nor do they wont anyone to change.

Still I've influenced quite a few people there.I am glad, though, in the beginning they asked the very same questions now they at least know there is a lot more in this world apart from just those four walls they have been living in all their lives and we are just a tiny spec in this huge world.

Learn, If u don't know something. Ask, If you don't know how to learn.NEVER HESITATE TO DO THAT! There are so many people who can teach you, ANYTHING! But just don't sit there, thinking that, "this is it".There is so much you can do.I just want them to know that.Eventually it is their decision on how they would want to live.I am no body to tell them how they should be living.

I am a novice in writing blogs,I accept I still am, although I cant write them properly it doesn't mean I can't learn , I just keep writing and some day I will be a better writer.People tell me, my blog is good but I don't really do it so that people read it but I do it for myself, to gain confidence as a better writer.
Its amazing how people write such brilliant stuff.I TRULY APPRECIATE THEM ALL!!!

guess I've made my post pretty big :P
gotta go get some sleep...

As always----->CheeeRRRSsssss!!!.....:)

End of third year ...OFFICIALLY!!!

2009-09-06T12:09:00.006+05:30

Exams over!!!... and i am home.... happy but still kinda sad cos Y.S rajashekar reddy (the chief minister of my state, Andhra pradesh) passed away... May his soul rest in peace

It may be true, I know nothing much about him as a politician, but to know a person dieing all of a sudden is a little depressing.
I still have my practical exams from 10th sept '09 and I am leaving on 8th sept ... sure to have no fun there.

updated on 14th sept '09
A week after my theory exams and I AM RELIEVED!!!... I am done with 3rd year and I probably feel good because I've come home... Just love the feeling of being at home... Though holidays havn't started yet I mean there are still days to come... but begining to feel the emptiness at home without my brother around... :(

Rest is fine... more stuff to write about in these holidays.....

2 'o Clock...!

2009-08-24T02:20:00.002+05:30

Damn... I am soooo sleepy right now... Been studying from quite some time... Exams... Just waiting for them to get over... Me and a couple of my friends were just discussing about a friend of ours who is indescribably...:P

All of us are so involved about talking about her that we[ishu(my roomie) ,dannu(the most caring person), sindu(out partner in crime, no matter what) and me] have planned to write a small piece of article or rather write some amazing stuff about this girl... Lol..Never done anything like this before, hope v write and I get to blog about it along with the credits ,of course :P...

Its 2'o clock right now... And still have one chapter left to study out of eight... Have to revise the entire portion today... Damn I sound like a nerd...`
My first Exam at 2pm on 25th august... A bit tensed... But hoping for the best...
I was thinking I will give up TWITTER till my exams get over but it seems to be really really really impossible for me... But still trying... Its not that I don't like tweeting, I do, but I almost got addicted to it, and its driving me crazy even if i don check my tweets.... Will try my best to give up till exams get over...
Too much chemistry running in my head and its all very very confusing...:(

I just want these exams to get over fast and well...

Till my next post...
Cheers!!!

P.S-GOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME WRITE MY EXAMS WELL...

DaMN...! I aM twiDIcTtEd

2009-08-20T01:43:00.003+05:30

I am addicted to my phone ...:( VERY BADLY....THANKS TO TWITTER!!!... I live in this tiny fantasy virtual world called twitter, my tworld on the net...
Although twitter does help me gather information and mostly interact with people of different diversities, I get to be the way I am :)... Love most of the people on twitter... but because my friends in real life are not on twitter they all don't really appreciate me talking about twitter...May be it is not really healthy...
At one point of time, I got so addicted to it that I had to be on twitter EVERYDAY and I dint really know why I became like that.
The gprs connection in my hostel went off so had to go about a kilometer away from college to just be on twitter.

End of third year

2009-08-13T14:11:00.007+05:30

I m done with 3rd year of my college not officially though , still got to write my exams. Third year was supposedly the best year for me till now in collage(cant believe I m actually beginning to call this place MY COLLEGE!!! rather proud to say it as well)

I have my finals exams on 25th of this month, I am a bit confident about the exams but as usual people expect a lot. I would be happy if I was at least scared of my exams, I would be studying , the trouble right now is i am tensed but not scared there by not studying as much as I am supposed to be studying.

All guys out of my life for the moment, at least the ones I consider dearest to me.
Vivek came home yesterday to see me with his friend kashyap all of us had a good time.I even stopped liking vivek, not that i hate him but no special attraction.He's just a friend.

I guess this year was a year for my realization, for all the crazy stuff that I do and for all the shit that I was in all this time.
I am sooooo tensed about my exams and this whole surgery is making me feel so dizzy that I cant even study.I don't expect a lot as usual just hoping to get around 70% but because I havn't read anything and wasted all my preparation holidays its not right to even expect 70% so anything beyond 65% is fine with me.
Damn I am beginning to get goose bumps just by thinking about all this exams.

GOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JUST HELP ME FINISH STUDYING AS MUCH AS I CAN FOR THESE PREPARATION EXAMS AND DO MY EXAMS WELL.

And as for me, will be going back to collage by this week end.
FINGERS CROSSED!!!
JUST HOPING FOR THE BEST!!!...

CHEERRRSSSS!!!!....

Hate the Love and Love the hate...

2009-08-12T09:54:00.004+05:30

Lol.I am not asking you to do it. I am telling you the situation I am in. Its really funny but I seem to LIKE the person whom I HATE the most.
I ve always liked him as a really good friend. I 've known him for 3 years now. Hanged out, watched movies had lunches (lol is that a word?) together, had dinners together, even had breakfasts together(The only person that I had breakfast with till now). Always loved his company and so did he. Things were fine until one day when he proposed a friend of mine and i completely hated is decision, wouldn't have minded even if he proposed anyone else but he proposed MY FRIEND whom I introduced.
Anyway he eventually realised he dint like her or was not even attracted to her. But because of her he changed a little.
Things between us changed he started liking me and i started liking him. But every single friend of mine hate him because he borrows money from me.
I got committed to a guy for the first time not him but another friend. My bf also hated my 1st guy. Things were fine for more than a month but then the 1st guy called me up and asked me why I was avoiding me.I then realised it was not my bf that i was loving but the other guy with whom I was in love.
Due to several consequences I broke up with my bf (I know what I did was wrong but I dint like the way I was)
At the same time with the 1st guy things were normal but out of the blue something happened which I dint like. And he still dint stop asking me money, my friends still hate him.
I met him a couple of weeks back, all was fine since both of us like each other we dint mind anything.
But I hated it when he asked me money on that day also.
Now I don't know if he likes me because he likes me or if he likes me just because i lend him money (almost every time we meet up)
Is it right to still like the person?
- all my friends hate him

- He always gets angry, never tries to understand.

- He borrows money from me EVERY SINGLE TIME we met

- somethings cannot be said

But I still like him and at the same time.

AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! Am I doing the right thing ,I don't know !!!

Just have to wait as time goes by.......

Cheers!!!....

Operation successful... but patient still suffering....

2009-08-10T12:16:00.002+05:30

MY FIRST EVER SURGERY

Was excited, nervous, happy, yelling with pain and what not, all emotions at the same time.

My friends shaheen and naga had come to the hospital for "moral support" :P. the situation in the hospital seemed more like we where there to hang out and spend some time together. But it was fun seeing naga and shaheen with me and naga making fun of shaheen . Of course naga was trying to be his usual self (" ",).

They put the saline into my right hand and i over reacted a little (obviously for it was my first time :D told u i had mixed emotions.

Was AWESOME to be under anaesthesia bbut after i came out of it.. IT WAS HELL AND IT STILL IS..:( hope it reduces soon because I still have to study for my exams ,wonder when I will finish studying...
*fingers crossed*

rest fine.
CHEERSSS!!! til the next post...;)

Rakshabandan...

2009-08-04T23:36:00.001+05:30

Tomorrow is supposedly , rakshabandan. As a kid I loved going to different shops and selecting the best rakhi available, for my brother. As time went by, my brother wasn't really interested in the day, he would get up late and let me tie rakhi just for my satisfaction. Ever since even I started loosing interest.
Now I feel that I don't need a particular day to tell my brother how much I love him or how much he means to me in my life.

I never really bothered to know why the sisters tie rakhis to the brothers.
Today while eating in the mess with my friends - everyone was talkin about how the celebrate if they where at home and then one of my friend asked why is the whole festival celebrated, no one knew why. Another friend said it was a sort of treaty or somethin between hindus n muslims(lmao)(i couldn't stop laughing). Then I started wondering seriously and searched on the net.

The story goes lik this-:
There was a fierce battle among the demons(the rakshasas) and the deities(the gods), the head of the deities was lord Indra and the demons were close to winning the battle. Seeing all this happen, Indrani(who was Indra's sister) prayed and utilised all her powers to create a talisman which she tied on Lord Indra's hand. The day she tied the talisman was on the new moon day (amavasya) of the month called sravana(one of the months , accordin to hindu mythology). It was believed that due to the talisman , Lord Indra won the battle against the demons.

Hence, since then the amavasya(new moon day) on sravana maasa (month) is regarded as a day where the sister wishes for the well being of her brother.
There r several more stories but i liked this more so wrote it.But al the stories are believed to happen on the same day i.e sravana amavasya.

Damn, I can't believe I am begining to get all superstitious...;););)

CHEERS!!!...(till my next post)

Saw "OYE"....

2009-07-26T13:15:00.008+05:30

After almost a month of waiting, I finally saw the movie "OYE" yesterday ...

Almost everyone said it was a sad and lame and what not. My school friend came yesterday we spoke a pretty long time about general stuff than finally decided to go for the movie show was at 4:50 and we reached the theater at 4:30. I din't want to leave the theater without watching a movie. But for our luck we got the tickets, I was jumping with joy because I LOVEEE Sidharth.

Except Vivek and my brother nobody liked the movie.

The movie is inspired from the novel "love story" by Erich Segal, so if you already read the novel then there are chances of you liking the movie.

I So badly loved the movie and got involved that when sidharth was crying in the movie even I started crying :'(.Anyway on the whole I really liked the movie.

Other stuff happening:- I am leaving to raichur tomorrow

I have my apendicitis sugery on the 7th of august

I am trying my best to resist certain temptations ( Fingers crossed )

Rest fine
cheers!!!.....

My day... My bday...

2009-06-24T00:11:00.003+05:30

The best birthday i ve had in raichur. . . It was my birthday yesterday (23rd of june) pretty good actually a lot better than what I had expected from this place.

My class guys and a few very close gals in collage gave me a VERY HUGE SURPRISE PARTY!!!... Was so elated...:) I thought I should write this blog than itself but dint really get time to go to the net or have the patience to write from my phone.

Every guy in my class gave me a rose (that was so sweet of them) than they gave me a teddy ( which I named "koniey" )made me cut a bun with candles on it and than a cake on which it was written "Happy Birthday Angel" that was sooooo sweet of them to write something like that, Finally all of us had our dinner and went back to hostel.

Did have a few bad experience like usual but at least I had fun on my day , I am happy about that ,very much happy about it....

Happy Sad Me...

2009-06-22T00:04:00.001+05:30

It was just about half an hour back that I cried for no sensible reason, as usual.But I know it has something to do with my birthday coming up (which I hate but still remain excited) And the next thing I remember is I am really happy for the reason being that my brother actually started going to work( well, not actually but ya he wil be, tomorrow, for his training ).This is what people call mind swing. I feel really proud about my brother, wonder how my parents and specially my grandfather must be feeling, I am sure he will go further more. It just seems like yesterday that me and my bro were running around in sembulipuram in our white pieces and can't believe my brother who keeps annoying me EVERYTIME is actually going to earn money. Feeling low again because I have already spent 20 years of my life, with family, friends, been through so many different situations, had major crushes, been in a relationship, broke up, been a jerk, had fun, enjoyed life, lead a regretless(probablly not even a word) life so far regarding what ever I have done, and nothing is ever going to come back.
I am a terrible blogger of that I am sure.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I just don't wana think much about it. Want to try to let things go however they go not like I can control but just wana try stop thinking for A DAY.

Why?

2009-06-17T23:39:00.001+05:30

Why is it that the only thing that I ever think of is about a guy?

Why do I always try to be (or pretend) like I care a damn about everything when I know that deep down inside I do care about it?

Why do I never share my feelings to anyone who actually cares a lot about me?

Why do I always end up doing the wrong things when I try to use my brain?

Why do I always bitch around about people(specially girls) when I start hating them?

Why does everything in my life always have to end with something related to "guys"?

Why cant I think or wait for people before taking the wrong move or uttering the wrong word?

Why do I always pretend like my entire life is over?

I can keep writing a huge list of questions like these forever.
After all I am a human.Everyone knows that he or she is not perfect, but we still try to make ourselves close to perfect.I don't really have an aim or an ambition yet as such but I just know I want to be someone. Not just be known as Prasanna's sister (like in all my school life) or Kalpana's daughter (like among my relatives) or Radhakrishna's daughter(among my family friends) or being called so and so's wife after I get married. I want to make my own identity.I want people to know me as me. But where do i start? I m so confused that I don't even know why I am talking all this. Just waiting for some day when I am atleast clear about what exactly I am doing.

Updates:- was niharika's bday today , called her home but she was not at home and I don't have her phone number. HAPPY B'DAY NEHA!

Count down:-Only 5 more days left......

??????>>>>>,,,,,...............

2009-06-10T23:07:00.003+05:30

I know I am supposed to change right now, its tough but I am trying and I know its for my good.I hope I have at least one guy who I don't treat the other way around I am trying very hard not to do it, I JUST HOPE I DON'T CHANGE to that previous old me, which I totally don't want to be. I think i can stay out of it if guys stop being sweet with me specially guys who I like ( which also should be stopped ) this whole thing is about vivek. Dumb yet a sweet guy and sometimes sensible, funny, hates seeing others unhappy. Thats what I hate about him he doesn't like to see me all depressed and sad when I have these stupid idiotic mood swings for no particular and sensible reason but just the way he acts with me makes him kind of special which I don,t want to happen. I don,t mind all this later but now now at least not after all that I've gone through.

Fingers crossed for the best not to change.

COUNTDOWN CONTINUES....... 11 days more to go...............

...

New phirend..... and stuff going on right now.

2009-06-08T17:20:00.005+05:30

Nothing much to tell about him.But off late kinda got addicted talking to this new guy i ve met, lol actualli esha's friend.He's a really sweet guy, pretends like everything is fine with him, hardly tells stuff about himself but speaks a LOTTTTT specially about others but stil its ok. Esha will screw me if she come to know i ACTUALLY WROTE A POST about him, lol. Anyway, I am back to collage and wont be talking much with him will just keep him aside for a few days. Maintain a low profile with him for a few days.Rest all fine.

I had my first class today after ONE MONTH and 8 days.(:P).

Spoke to alekhya after a long time because she was busy partying with her family in U.S.A, even she is back to collage.

I am actually feeling a bit low by just thinkin that I will be done with collage in another 16 to 18 months at the max.( even though i hated this place I am begining to feel its not so bad after all (:D)

I feel like reading some books but, damn cant even buy books here.( not that I love reading books or sumthin but generally, actually I want to read angels and demons. I know its been ages since that book came out but wasn't really interested then want to read the book now(:p) )Actually Vivek wanted the book so badly so i was wondering why not try reading it once and give him the same book.

My roomie again not talkin properly with me. GOD!!!.... She is so annoying, although I don't really care about her. She is still my roomie I have to see her the wholeday right from when I wake up till I sleep and seeing her with that weird annoying face like she is pissed off with me is even more irritating.Things will be fine I know :).

Haven't spoken to Naga ever since I came back to collage.

COUNTDOWN BEGINS!!!!....
20 MORE DAYS TO GO.....
EXCITED & NOT EXCITED ALSO AT THE SAME TIME....:P

CHEERS!!!!!.........

P.S-The guy, the new firend I was talkin about was vivek...

June.AGAIN.......!

2009-06-01T22:43:00.001+05:30

I just have to face this.Lol. I act as if my world is over that is because of this place it makes me feel like that. Its june again and I have to celebrate my birthday again. I am sure there will not be much change this time aswel. The best thing right now is I get to blog again like before by just lying there on my bed with all those thoughts running from my head and directly to my fingers because I got back opera mini in my phone.Yeahhh...!!!

Happiness aside. The biggest thing right now in my head my exams , internals actually but they do matter a lot and everything I ve studied is in my head but all scattered very very very confusing..:-( GOD PLEASE HELP ME......
Well its ok even if I don't get good marks but I hope I atleast get da confidence to write well. Fingers crossed.

feeling all goody woody

2009-05-29T01:33:00.003+05:30

And why is that so? Well, first of all I 've just cried the most ever till now. But all that happened for a good reason, rather a realization I should say. A very big realization .People talk and give suggestions but how many of them actually cause an impact on us and make us realize is what really matters. I m not the most intelligent person I among the people I know but I am surely one of the dumbest people I know, I shouldn't be degrading myself but that is the truth.

Y do I have to do something that I m not interested in or something that may make me happy later on which probably will not happen. There are many situations when people feel their heart paining because of the pain or the wounds that a person causes. It could fade away when the person repeats the same over and over, throwing his whips on you over and over and over, U slowly get resistant to it. It doesn't hurt you the same any more . The first lash is harder than the second than the third and so on. But when this friend of mine hits me, each and every wound that he casts on me is like the first lash on me.

Today was not just an ordinary hit, he hit me so badly and finally made me realize what shit I was in.
My only wish is to get out of that shit and to remain out of it forever. He thinks I am addicted to it. But I don't think so, may be I was but not any more.And I will never be.I know there is no one to check on me, but I believe in some power called "GOD" and that power is within me, that power is sufficient for me to stay out of the big shit that I was stuck in.I have the loveliest life anyone could ask for, and I need to give a little respect to this beautiful life and keep it permanently out of the shit.

THANKS TO HIM. I've changed. If I havn't nobody will know it except for me and the power. But I thinks its a lot more better to stay out of the shit. The shit stinks, its disgusting and sucks big time but out of the shit it smells so good, lovely and pleasant to be in.

Thank you god. Just give me the power to be out of it forever.

CHEERS!!!

100 TRUTHS!!!! ABOUT ME.......

2009-05-26T11:35:00.004+05:30

1. Last beverage - Fresh lime soda(sweet and salt)
2. Last phone call – ViVeK
3. Last instant message – krishna chaitanya
4. Last song you listened to – Flo Rida-Right round
5. Last time you cried – Yesterday.
6. Last text message – Vivek
HAVE YOU EVER:
7. Dated someone twice - No
8. Been cheated on - No
9. Kissed someone & regretted it – No
10. Lost someone special – yes
11. Been depressed - ocassionally

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. pink
13. white
14. blue

THIS MONTH HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend – yes
16. Fallen out of love – no
17. Laughed until you cried – no
18. Met someone who changed your life - not yet
19. Found out who your true friends were – yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you – no
21. Have you kissed anyone on your friend's list – Yes
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life - 99% of them
23. How many kids do you want to have – a gal and a guy
24. Do you have any pets – no :(
25. Do you want to change your name – no
26. What did you get for your last birthday – A cake and a pen stand
28. What were you doing at midnight last night – chatting
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for – _______
30. Last time you saw your father - 2 hours ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life - Everything is fine the way it is
32. What are you listening to right now – Dice-finley quaye
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom – no
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now- no one
35. Most visited webpage – Facebook
MISCELLANEOUS
36. What’s your real name – Praveena RAdhakrishnan
37. Nicknames – Pravs, Prave
38. Status - very single
39. Zodiac sign – Cancer
40. Male or female - FEMALE
41. Elementary – NIRAJ PUBLIC SCHOOL
42. Middle School - NIRAJ PUBLIC SCHOOL
43. Highschool - Kakatiya junior collage,S.R. nagar
44. University - Navodaya collage of pharmacy(affiliated to rajiv ghandi university of health sciences)
45. Hair color – dark black
46. Long or short – long( below shoulder length)
47. Are you a health freak – quiet
48. Height - 5'4
49. Do you have a crush on someone – maybe
50. What do you like about yourself – I love ME
51. What don’t you like about yourself – being a spendthrift
52. Righty or lefty – Righty

FIRSTS :
53. First surgery – None till now
54. First piercing – ears (when i was in 4th grade)
55. First best friend – vijetha( in 2nd class)
56. First award – group in 8th class
57. First sport you joined – swimming
58. First pet - None
59. First vacation - Mysore,banglore and ooty
60. First concert - concert by various artists in birmingham wich was held as a celebration for da queens 50 years of ruling
61. First crush – 7th grade

WHAT ARE YOU...
62. Eating - Nothing
63. Drinking – Tea
64. I'm about to – Go out with mom
65. Listening to – hard rock hallelujah - lordi
66.Waiting to – NOT get out of hyd as earli as poss

YOUR FUTURE :
67. Want kids – Yes(if i get married :p)
68. Want to get married – maybe
69. Careers in mind - Anything related to drugs

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :
70. Lips or eyes – depends actually on the person
71. Hugs or kisses – both maybe
72. Romantic or spontaneous – romantic
73. Nice stomach or nice arms – :)
74. Sensitive or loud – both
75. Hook-up or relationship - Relationship
76. Trouble maker or hesitant – Trouble maker
77. Lefty or Righty – either
78. Shorter or taller – taller (but not more then 5 or 6 inches :D)
79. Older or Younger – anything is fine as long its not a big diff

HAVE YOU EVER :
80. Lost glasses/contacts – YES
81. Ran away from home – no
82. Kissed a stranger – No
83. Drank Pepsi – ya
84. Broken someone's heart – dont know. must have.
85. Been arrested – NEVER
86. Turned someone down – YES
87. Cried when someone died – no
88. Liked a guy/girl friend? – yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself – yes
90. Miracles – sometimes
91. Love at first sight – sure
92. Heaven – may b
93. Santa Claus – no.
94. Kiss on the first date – maybe. not necessarily.
95. Angels – sure

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
96. Are you happy with your life? – not happy, but content.
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now - WELLL.. may be
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time – No
99. Do you believe in God – YES.TOTALLY!!!
100. Posting this as 100 Truths –Yes...

INFERIOR ....me....????

2009-03-07T17:50:00.003+05:30

I don't know why but I always feel I look bad. People say... Looks don't matter and stuff... well yeah it doesn't... I know I am not perfect but I am sure I am far better than most other gals I know..

Yesterday I was feeling very low... thinking about all this... specially thinking about the way chaitanya behaves with me.. I like him a lot but I have absolutely no idea what he thinks about me.. but from the way he behaves with me it makes me feel he just wants me physiclaly...

Anyway... why should I even be bothered to think abt shitty people who do not know me... LOL...In that case i think I shouldn't think about any one...

MANNN... i dont knwo how many days i ll stay stuck being like this....Got a comp after a long time... feel like writing more...I ve written a lot in da hostel yesterday.. but right now just too exited to watch splits villa 2... Should try keepin a copy of my writings everytime i come 2 the net......

time to leave for now...
CheeRSS...!!!:)

A moment....! AbT MY folks!!!....

2009-02-21T01:03:00.009+05:30

Its almost 1 in the night... i saw this video made by one of ma friends friend, of all of them together... their trip together to IIT sarang.... I don't know why but it made me feel really nice when i saw that video...
I don't know what is fun... I don't know how to enjoy.... I don't know life... Its being with my friends that I have come to know all these things... they are a very important part in my life... I don't think i ve influenced any of my friends but my school friends and my inter friends sure have... they give me a new meaning to how I lead my life...

No idea till when i will be with them but some of the most beautiful times in my life were spent with them...

THANKS TO ALL MY FRIENDS....

>ESHA......MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!although I don't talk much or call you up that often... you are always special re.... love u more than any one in my life....

>NaGa.... i seriously don't know why but you are that one person in my life who knows every thing about me... who tries really hard to make me LIVE what I m "BETTER"

>Ravi.... u give me the confidence to live life even with all those difficulties...

>Niharika , Krupa thanks a lot u guys.... For all those fun times we spent together...

>Dhanu, Ishu, Sindhu, Bindu.... guys I seriously don't know how I even completed those years in collage even though i hated everything about that whole place... I seriously don't know how hell would have treated me if it wern't for u guys... THANKS A MILLION!!!!....

There are many more i would like to thank but then this post would sound like some kind of thank you speech which people give after winning an award...(May be it already sounds something like that)... But for the award you guys gave me(my beautiful life) this is the least I can do....

THANKS TO ALLL!!!!!
LOVE U GUYS FOREVER!!!

ChEErSSSS!!!!....

rAndOm thOUghts

2009-02-20T23:21:00.003+05:30

saw Delhi 6 today.. May not be a very great movie...Nor is it very entertaining but it is all about the evil side of you... Well not many people would want to realize their evil side... Nor do I... its inevitable... But once I sat and thought about the whole movie... it actually made a lot of sense to me....:)

If anyone liked surya s/o krishnan (telugu movie) or swades than i think it is worth watching this movie.. or else dont waste your money....

I loved abhishek bachan a lot... He look so cute....[:-*].... sonam kapoor was also good... but abhishek was cuter....heheh... after all i am a girl.. and opposites attract....;)
If you have already heard the songs then good.. because I felt there was a song for every 10 mins....

It was a fun day today... saw the movie with NAGA....=) Went window shopping with him... quite surprising... but dint bother because being with him mattered more than anything... sweet guy...[=-*]

I am not very good with critics and stuff... but this is my opinion about the movie...

FeB 13th '09

2009-02-15T01:38:00.002+05:30

I am back to home after quite some time...

I don't know how I land up at "HOME" exactly when i begin to feel sick and tired of my collage and hostel... May b not every time but this happened atleast this time when I wanted to come home.... I was feeling very low... Not in a very good mood staying in hostel... I just needed an excuse to come home... and I found the right excuse or rather the right reason to be home..."ESHA'S B'DAY"... I called her up at 12 10 on the day of her b'day still not sure if I will go home... The next thing I know she is crying while talking to me... I told her i would be coming home on that day since nothing much was happening in collage (due to the collage fest)...

Next day I wake up at 11 and i decide to come home... By noon I am on my way back home... I get down at the bus stop at around 5 and reach home by 6 in the evening...
I called up esha and she asked me to stay over at her house that night along with her friends... I had absolutely no clue what to buy... finally decided to buy her a huge teddy....

By 7 in the evening I reach her house with a really huge teddy.... the minute she entered her room she was soooooooo shocked to see it.... I loved the smile she had on her face.... I was happy that she was happy... she already had so many surprises that day... Her classmates rather her best friends from collage got her a bunch of balloons , party hats and a mickey mouse which read happy birthday....

then went to a restaurant... Returned to her house at 11 or something... v had a night out watched a couple of movies... played with balloons.... DANCED...... slept at 4 30 next morning.... woke up at 6.... damn tey wer not sleepy tey dint even let me sleep.... :(... i returned home by 11 in da morning....

AWSOME DAY it was!!!!:D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RE!!!

THE BET!!!

2009-01-20T19:00:00.000+05:30

Last time when I was in hyd i had been out with naga. So called treat.He just needs an excuse to eat a pizza , even though hes grown fat (thats what he thinks).
We always end up eating pizza (which I love) but resist my self from eating because I need to reduce some extra pounds.

For a change Naga and I had a bet that he would finish one WHOLE family pizza all by himself. He was ready to pay the bill if lost and if I lost i had to pay the bill and also recharge his stupid reliance phone (so that he can talk to his girlfriends :-@).We met up at the place whre we generally meet.When Naga ordered for a family size pizza the barer thought he had misheard it as family size Naga had to repeat it because we were just two and a medium pizza would be enough for us... The expression on that guys face was so damn funny...oh my goddd!!!...
We kept talking till the pizza came some nonsense...but its nice being with him sweet guy....Finally when the pizza came... It was so sure he would win the bet because the pizza was so damn small... I mean for the size of a family pizza i expected it to b more big but it was smaller than i expected.. And obviously naga won...

DAMN!!!... NOW I HAVE TO RECHARGE HIS PHONE... BALLS [:p]...
I wont recharge his phone.. He asked me to talk to him only after recharging but lite mana naga ne kada...hehehhe...

i know its a dumb thing to write about but still i wanted to write so just wrote it...

oh yeah... about the movie arundathi "it stil hasnt released in RAICHUR " i just have to wait but seriously i am still scared to watch the movie... donno y

hoping to find intresting things to write about in future...HEHEHE...till then...
CHEERS!!!
TAKE CARE!!!
KEEP SMILING!!!..[:p]

M BACK!!!

2009-01-17T18:56:00.000+05:30

This has become a regular habit for me to blog and from now on decided to be a regular blogger. Not that i write something useful. But just want to write.

We 've got internet in our collage library "FINALLY". So decided y not give it a shot everyday to come and do some writing stuff. Me , sindhu and ishu have been caught up with a little studies . Its time we got serious about it. We stay back til 6 in the collage in the class. And then go to the library stay back til 7 then go to the room and party.

We are planning to take a break tomorrow, and go watch a telugu movie called arundhati. Supposed to be a horror movie , I am shit scared of horror movies but since all my friends will be going together hope i dont get that scared abt it

Rest till monday have fun got an exam to study (pharmacology , quite interesting so don't really mind studying that stuff)

Take care !!!
peace!!!

slumdog MILLIONAIRE!

2009-01-12T23:40:00.000+05:30

AWESOME MOVIE!!!.... I loved the movie... The first thing that i did after i came from raichur was watch slumdog millionare frm 12 30 midnight till 3 or 4 in the mosrning... I loved the movie... I loved the song JAI HO the most.. Its a very peppy number..

I heard of this movie when it got nominated for the golden globe awards for A R Rehman for the best background score... I was sure he would get the award.. A R Rehman is such an awsome music director.. I ve loved every single song of his...

As i kept waching the movie over and over.. i started liking the first introduction song "O.. Saya"... This is also an awsome song....
Yesterday night was the golden globe awards and slumdog millionaire won four awards including:-

Best Picture, drama: ‘Slumdog Millionaire’

Best Director: Danny Boyle, ‘Slumdog Millionaire’

Best Screenplay: Simon Beaufoy, ‘Slumdog Millionaire’

Best Original Score: A.R. Rahman, ‘Slumdog Millionaire’

I was so happy... It was such a proud moment for everyone that A R rehman was the first indian to win an international award "THE GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS"...
I just hope he even gets nominated and wins an award at the oscars...

The movie is simply awsome... Gave a copy of the movie... to naga (which dint reach his hand cos i left it in the auto when i was goin to meet him yesterday ) and another to chaitanya whom i met today...

For those who havn't seen the movie GO WATCH IT... Its worth watching... I will watch it if it releases in raichur... which i m sure is not going to happen...

The plot of the movie is simply :- Jamal who is a chaiwala at a call center ends up in the television show "who wants to be a millionaire" and answers every question correctly... How a guy born and brought up in the slum answers every question is because every question is in someway related to his life.... which is all in some way or the other related to the love of his life "latika".... His search for her and so on... I love the starting where the kiddo jumps into SHIT

probablly the best movie of 2009... lets just wait and see...

GREAT ACTING BY THE KIDS!!!
LOVELY DIRECTION BY DANNY BOYLE!!!(well that the ony aspect of movies that i know..."direction".. so cant really comment on the other things that i am not familiar with)
"MUSIC"_________ NO WORDS!!!!!....HATS OFF A.R.REHMAN....:)!

23rd jan (updated today)[:p]
The movie's won 11 bafta awards ( British Academy of Film and Television Arts ) its got nominated for 10 oscar awards one less than ben kinsleys "Gandhi" (another indian british movie)... Gandhi won 8 awards... 3 award nomination for A.R.Rehman.....(KEWL)....;)

FINGERS CROSSED WONDER HOW MANY WILL THIS WIN........

THIRD YEAR!!!...

2008-12-29T17:41:00.000+05:30

My 3rd year has just started and it is already the end of the year... I 've had soooo much fun in the last few months... saw 4 mouvis in 5 weeks which include watchin dostana (for the 3rd time, i liked the movie a lot so din't mind watching it), yuvatha(telugu movie, wasnt really good but just wanted to watch it), then saw rab ne bana di jodi and saw ghajini yesterday....
In the last five weeks i lived my life like i ve never lived til now in this place.... Got introduced to a few new friends (really nice guys , shuban , sujith and vinod)... went to a place called green lands in RAICHUR... This is like a small park but in the outsjirts of raichur with a swimming pool in between... I wished raghuvarun and s2v had come, because my class girls suck big time... but stil managed tp have fun with the few friends i have here (dhanalakshmi ,sindhura and ishwarya)...

I cant believe its taken me 2 whole years to get used to vry one and evrerything in this place...
We "WERE" planning to have a party on the 1st of jan in greenlands...
but none of my class girls are intersted... the give the lamest excuses TO EVEN HAVE FUN so that sucks.. soem of the excuses were "we will have collage , i cant bunk collage" ; "i ve flunked in two subjects, what will other think about me if i come" ; "i wil come if everyone comes" ; "i will not come because he is coming"...
MAAANNNN these people are damn irritating... May be they are not the kind of people who like partying and stuff but atleast a formal lunch with guys from my class would do...
the most irritating think is that in s2v's collage they are having a party which includes 57 out of 62 pepople in their class... I wish i m in their collage atleast so that i can party.... as long as i am stuck in this collage in this dumb hostel with these dumb people i should just start learning to enjoy life with these *****d up souls i live with...

I just hope from the new year i live my life lik that without the worry of bothering about anything specially my class girls....

Leaving all that behind... my life is really great.. atleast for now... i finished 2nd year "OFFICIALLY"... i got 72% which makes me more than happy for what ever i have studied... now its time to party atleast til 1st... i dono how or wat my plans are but i definetly wana have fun on 31st and 1st....

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!
CHeeRs!!!!.....

hell is HERE!!!

2008-12-09T15:58:00.000+05:30

its been 2 weeks (almost) since i ve come back to collage i mean hell... i ve bought two books along with me to read... so that i dont hav 2 talk with the devils that i live with in hell.... (lol i m sure my collage frnds will kill me if they come to know that i call them devils)... but seriously speaking i doint really like any of them....not my kind...just have to live it....

END OF HOLIDAYS!!!

2008-11-21T23:43:00.001+05:30

Its 21st of november today and i hav almost come to an end of my holidays. Was fun. ON THE WHOLE. Got to get closer to a few friends like dhanalakshmi and gangadhar.

Saw kung fu panda today, seriously good movie.

I generally love watching animated movies.This one was really good had fun. Saw it with gangadhar( friend from hell.. uh i mean collage)

It was naga's birthday today. He wanted the 1st season of bostan legal as his birthday gift but couldn't give it to him.
1) because he was busy meeting his other IMPORTANT friends
2) because it is freaking costly to but him the dvd or whatever
3) because it hasn't yet downloaded completely on my brother laptop

hopefully should finish by tomorrow.

I m going to meet some one who Naga hates a lot,Tomorrow. Might end up watching dostana with that guy.

I generally lie a lot. WITH EVERY PERSON.

I just can't tell the truth with any one. Its just that each person hates something or the other and i have to hide it from him or I am too guilty to say the truth.
Only naga and ravi know most of the truth about my life. Its cos i feel more comfortable with these two guys but i don't know how long this will go on.
And probablly not telling naga about me going out with this guy includes my list of lies.

Just two more days and I wil go back to Raichur...:'(

HOLIDAYS 2008!!!

2008-11-15T09:44:00.000+05:30

PROLOGUE
i finally finished second year. and i don't know from where i got this inspiration (or whatever you call it), to actually WRITE something.

And the best topic i found is how i spent my "HOLIDAYS" this is the most important holidays in my life (i feel) because after these holidays i wont have time to actually do stuff that i want to do.

Ever since i was a kid my holidays were just meant to visit my relatives and family friends, most of them who stay in and around Chennai (in Tamil nadu). So every holiday i get, i would go and visit my grandparents, my uncles ,aunts, cousins(who r either really elder than me or younger than me or with whom i am hardly in touch with).There was one cousin who din't even know that i existed.Anyway back to my topic,the places i visit were always the same. Every year.Every holiday that i got. But since we hardly meet up with our family,these holidays are like a get together for the whole family (where my dad was always missing.) He would either come a week or something after us and return home a week before we return home.In the first few years of my childhood these things din't really matter. But as i started coming into my teenage.I started to feel a little bad about the whole thing.

Its been a year since i ve been to Chennai.The last time i went to chennai was for my cousins marriage.Long back.atleast thts how i feel.

I m finally going to chennai on 6th with my mom and my friend from collage.

so far my holilol
dys have been good. Learning guitar,going for driving classes, it is fun.

BACK FROM CHENNAI!!!
ITS 12th 2day and I am back from chennai. Was fun.
My friend was travelling by train for the first time.We had fun while going in the train. For the first time I got to see something new in chennai although i go every year i never go to temples and stuff which are supposed to be famous in Tamil nadu.

We went to pondicherry, to my grand parents place and chidambaram and then back to chennai.The best part of my trip was visiting my grandparents place. They live in a village its so much better when you need a break.No pollution.No noise.Everything is natural there.LOADS OF COCONUT WATER...FISHHHH!!!!!"YUMMY"(my grandmother is a great cook even at 70, and highly energitic person, actually more for her age thats what i mean).

Few of the pics are below.

BeSt FRienDs!!!

2008-10-27T10:48:00.000+05:30

Best friends are two people who care for each other more then anything
They tell each other everything
And listen to what each other has to say

A Best friend is one who stands out in the crowd
Who laughs with you
Cries with you
And is there for you

Together as one
Best Friends meet their goals
And believe in the beauty of friendship

Carly
You're my only best friend
The one who lends me her shoulder when I'm in need
Who laughs with me
Talks to me
And listens to my problems
Without you, I'd be lost

Together we accomplish our dreams
In the future, together side by side
Accomplishing more each time
And believing in what we have with each other

Your not just my best friend
But a sister at heart
You're a part of my family
A friend no one could ever dream of

No one will ever replace you
Or the impact you have had on me
Together as one
Best friends till the end
Sisters at heart, forever

3 n no sleep... YET!

2008-09-06T02:54:00.001+05:30

Hmmm... Mobile in my hand... Lots of thoughts in my head... Exams up in 10days... Preparation going on well so far... Its 3 in the night and I am still not sleepy... Both my friends slept... But i hardly feel like sleeping right now... At the same time don't know what to do...

By the way my exams start from 17th... Of this month... Followed by one of my toughest exam on 19th.. Next is on 22nd, 24th and 26th... After that I can go home... Yeahhhh!!!
I am going home on 28th morning on bike... Feeling soooooo damn exited even with the thought about it in my head... and 29th, off to chennai wid mom n my friend dannu... Expecting a lot cos i am going to chennai after almost a year... And also cos my friend is comin... Waiting to watch rock on... After going to hyd... To meet ravi, esha n obviously naga... Although i am a little pissed off wid him... I am waiting to meet him cos v wil b meeting after 4 months... 4 someone as special as him in my life... 4 months in a pretty long gap... Not that he is my bf or something... But really lik him a lot... Love his voice... Love the way he is...
Anyway, before all this happens, i have to write my exams well... I pretend as if I m the only person writing this exam... But seriously i am working hard just cos of my senior... He expects a lot... I expect anything above 60... May 2 75 or even 61... 4 a good student this is a lot less though... Wil continue later hav to get up tomorrow...
CHEERS!
GOOD NIGHT!!!

End of 2nd year!

2008-08-26T22:09:00.001+05:30

Finally...... I wil be done wid 2nd year...! Phew...!!!

Hardly one more month 4 my finals... N m not at al interested to study... But at da same time m really very freaked out abt 2nd year exams... Man its tuf... I finished 1st year by hardly touchin my books.. Actually 1st year was interesting... Now its not really interesting... Ppl expect a lot from me... Tey think i m a genius... Wel ya i m...;-) But... I don really think i can do this year as good as my 1st year.. If I do... Good... Great... Awesome... No1 wil b happier than me... If not 4 my sake i need to do well... 4 praneeth sir... Must b thinking he is my lecturer or somethin... Wel hes my senior... N i respect him a lot... He is da one who expects da most from me... A wonderful guy... Thinks very practically... Fair cute... His face turns red wen he talks a lot... But generally my friends or my seniors don lik him... Cos he is way too frank... Doesn't bother abt wat others mite think.. He jus wants his point to be ther straight to da other person... Da credit 4 my marks in 1st year goes to him n ofcourse to ME aswel..:-D..
I jus hope i do my 2nd year wel... M sick n tired of studyin 2nd year...
Life is getting better in hell(wil know wat i mean if u read my previous blog.. If not wel i mean my coll....) Love being alone most of da time... Hav lotsa things to do after my exams finish... But 1st things 1st.. Gotta do my exams wel...study wel.. I don wana dream high.. But hopin 4 da best... I know god is ther watchin down... N wondering wat this gal is doin... Widout studyin... He ll definetly flunk me in a paper or two if i continue my writin my blog...
God.. Please don do that... I know u r ther jus help me finish my second year successfully... Love u god... Take care...
Wil get back to my blog sooner or later..

came home aftr almost 2 months...

2008-08-14T13:09:00.000+05:30

m bac home almost 2 months n kinda feels good...but kinda bad also cos i sorta miss venkat in ktk.... although i hate raichr i felt lik stayin bac in raichur 4 da 1st time eva in ma life cos i had 2 leave venkat n cum... n here i m in hyd... aftr 2 months..... everythings changed a lot... naga is not talkin 2 me ne more... nor m i interstd 2 talk to chaitanya.... n ravi.... wel venkat doesnt lik it wen i talk 2 ravi... neway life goes on... went out shoppin wid mom... dint buy netihn realli usefull... js bought cos i went shoppin... 2mrw wil go out wid esha... meetin her aftr a very long time... n day aftr m plannin 2 meet krupa... although m not realli comfortable wid krupa... i stil go out wid krupa.. cos she is smmthin lik me.... i mean da way she liks havin fun.. goin out... spendin money watchin muvis shoppin etc.. hope 2 hav a gud stay in hyd.... wil b leavin on sunday.... tommorow is independence day.... n venkat does not want me2 go out cos he fears tht ter mite b sum bomb blast or sumthin lik tht.... n m hardli interstd in watchin tv nemore... more interstd in writin blogs al day long.....wil sleep now its venkats bday 2mrw... gotta wish him n gotto sleep....

June 23rd

2008-06-23T12:04:00.000+05:30

finally the day is here... N frankly speaking... It sucks as usual... As usual in da sense disgusting... Irritating... Annoying...
Here, bday is jus cutting a cake at 12 n giving a couple of chocolate bars to friends... Tats it... N man it feels really bad...i hardli had ne fun... but must admit it was btr thn last year.... last yaer i cried n al tht crap so it was btr tis time...

one week aftr ma bday n m at home... goin out wid ma frnd to PARTTYYYYY.... tis is da best part of ma bday... 2 cum home aftr a week n clebrate in hyd.... had fun....

Where is the love...?

2008-06-14T15:48:00.002+05:30

Where is the love...? Is there...? Hmmm... Was there love ever...? Well instead of asking if ther was love before... I can say this world is filled more wid hatred... Than love....

I love so many people, so many things... But guess different times, different situations, makes us act differently... differently Like having a fight with a person u love ... Its not cos u don love them but it is cos you love them a lot... But on da other hand there are people who fight even though u don't love or even lik them... This is increasing a lot now a days... I love being pampered and being cared *who doesn't ?*... There were peoplE who cared for me... EARLIER... But now I don't feel so... And I don't really care... Cos I 've got used to it...

People who love me a lot are ma parents... I just came from home on 25th of last month... Just 3 weeks from today and my mom is comin to raichur to see meeeee... I am so glad to be da way I m... (though I keep complaining about many things.....AFTER ALL I AM A HUMAN...)

I think I just have to face life as it comes ...

Ma coll... Hell in my terms...

2008-06-14T01:43:00.001+05:30

1stly i study in karnataka... In this place called raichur... It is in da border of andhra n karnataka... Its been a year n a half since i came...

I ve spent al ma life before comin here only in hyddd... Always havin fun... Hangin out wid friends... Watchin movies... Eatin... Chattin... Addicted to tv n net... Exploring new things... Travellin...
I ve always had great friends... Wel atleast they match my frequency...

But eva since i joined this coll... Da only thing i do is complaint about every small thing... Starting from dis place... Its almost a village 4 me... Da kind of ppl i live wid... My collage... My lecturers... Not a single thing tat i lik abt this place... N ppl r actually showing me wat 3rd degree torture is... Life is an echo... I think i m a good gal... So nothin bad can happen to me... Even if it does... I ll jus get adjusted,jus lik how i got used to this place... Ther r 13 gals in ma class includin me... All from andhra... 6 from hyd... But no1 actually stays in hyd.. They ALL stay in da outskirts... I swear I ve neva seen any1 lik any of these 12 in ma life... Ppl r sooooo narrow minded... Always findin faults in others... No1 is perfect no doubt... I don expect anythin... I jus want them to show a lil humanity... I lik only 3 or 4 gals in ma class... Rest jus talk to them 4 da heck of it... My lecturers show partiality openly to a few... N say directly to some guys n gals tat tey wil fail in da exams... I mite get used to this place by da time i leave... Collage life no matter how it is... Is meant to b enjoyed... Cos after collage... U hav lots of responsibilities... Da only responsibility till m in coll is studyin...but i ve learnt many things... After comin here... No matter how bad life is v stil gotta hav fun n enjoy... Different ppl from different places... Different views.. Wil definetly take time to get used n get adjusted...

~!~life continues~!~

Felt good factor...!

2008-06-14T01:14:00.001+05:30

Hmmm... This incident happened many days back... I always feel i m not a very important person in any1s life... I hav a really good friend... My school friend... MY BEST FRIEND... Although she is ma best friend v hardly talk... M studyin in karnataka in raichur(which i totally hate)... N she stays in hyd... STD... So v hardly contact each other.. I remember her almost every day... Every incident i do... I remember her... She always gives me missed cals... One night i was feeling really low... N al of a sudden its her... I was lik :-O... But then felt happy... She called... She spoke 4 a long time... Her bf was in town... She was sayin she MISSED me... I felt soooo happyyy... Not tat she missed me... But 4 da fact tat she also liked bein wid me as much i do... I miss her equally... But v hardly talk... Great times v ve spent... Those two words bought a smile on ma face wid a tear in ma eye... Even though she bugs me a lot... I stil lik her... I stil lik bein bugged... Hope v always stay da same... *fingers crossed*...
Jus felt lik jottin down this incident...

Meeee...

2008-01-16T16:20:00.002+05:30

Hmmm... Finally I am posting in my own blog... I never really understood why people write blogs... But for a person like me... Does need a blog... I am the kind of girl who never shares her secrets to anyone... I mean with friends... All my friends hate me for it... Thats basically because i cant express myself in words of speech but words like this is easier for me... Thats the reason why I decided to write a blog... So much about ma stupid theory... I like being alone or being with a big crowd of people(i mean friends obviously) thats because when am alone I won't have to talk n when I am in a group, people apart from me everyone does the talkin... Thats just what happens in my life... I have a really great bunch of friends... So happy about it... But are friends foreva...?not really..you have to let go of them at some point in your life... but until u get married and all that its not necessary to leave them...

Wel 1st let me tel u da few most commonly used lines by me...

1) I DONO...(cos i really dono, doesn't make ne sense.hehehe)
2) what else?...(cos i don't talk much,and am always out of stuff to talk about)
3) v'll see... (the 1st sentence i say actually the 2nd sentence when someone asks me about meeting up)
4) i ll try...(the 3rd sentence that i use after asking me many times to meet up)
5) not in a good mood(a very big mood swinger, so obviously watelse wud u xpect...?)
6) lite(i use this word when i get really tensed it makes me feel cool,u know like it calms me down)
7) am fat and i don't look good(the world cant b filled wid beauties everywhere)
8) its ok
9) whatever

some people (among my friends) think I m dumb.But i dont think i am really dumb its just the way i do things..i hardly think before doing anything...i mean "ANYTHING"... If i feel like doing anything i just do it... well almost everything... but i've had enough and decided to think before doing anything.. hoping to change... i m a complete introvert.. don't really like discussing things about myself or anyone else...(i atleast try not to)...HATE GOSSIPING!!! I'd rather stay alone then sit with my friends and bitch about each other....

I love listening to music... (the only remedy to change my mood)... I think i flirt a little may be more then little specially with people whom i don't know personally.. but really scared to get committed... Prolly cos i have an impression abt guys which might be the topic in my upcoming blogs... I wana write more... But ma hands r aching because i am typing from the mobile and its kind of tough... I ll try continuing it later...

PeSkY meEee

Imperfect me

....

the love and the LOVE

The thin line....

the distance

....

1857

my deserted blog

the song that saved me...

Inbam intha bodaiyalaye

Its a century... :D

IF I WERE

LOVE IS CONFIDENCE AND NOT JEALOUSY.

uhhh

Poetic ? May be could try.

Its all coming back to me now.... :)

Newwww

Frustration overload.

I'm blue :]

:-/

No Title...

You happy... me happy ... all happy....

......

miss you RAICHUR

Pain. *left drafted*

Random ramblings

Midnight *damn I make really bad titles*

YEHAAAAA!!!!!

Twitter world

The love of my life...

Keep singing....

One more time...

He's the one....

Internals AGAIN... :-/

Back to black

My hopeless typing...

What Next.....

My blog

A very special person........

Da guys in ma life

All you need is love........

People...

The year that was...!

Where are you...?

Sun sign.... Astrology....

Making ....

I likes :) ;) :P

I gotta feeling.....

Another day....

The elegible bachelors...

The Ignorant people around me!

End of third year ...OFFICIALLY!!!

2 'o Clock...!

DaMN...! I aM twiDIcTtEd

End of third year

Hate the Love and Love the hate...

Operation successful... but patient still suffering....

Rakshabandan...

Saw "OYE"....

My day... My bday...

Happy Sad Me...

Why?

??????>>>>>,,,,,...............

New phirend..... and stuff going on right now.

June.AGAIN.......!

feeling all goody woody

100 TRUTHS!!!! ABOUT ME.......

INFERIOR ....me....????

A moment....! AbT MY folks!!!....

rAndOm thOUghts

FeB 13th '09

THE BET!!!

M BACK!!!

slumdog MILLIONAIRE!

THIRD YEAR!!!...

hell is HERE!!!

END OF HOLIDAYS!!!

HOLIDAYS 2008!!!

BeSt FRienDs!!!

Pain. left drafted

Midnight damn I make really bad titles