the song that saved me...

Well, may be not literally but yes I do love certain songs and they all actually make me feel HAPPIER no matter how bad my mood is. My previous post I don't remember the reason for all that pain I was going through but I remember the day. I heard the same song atleast 170 times and Yes it did save me. Stopped me from thinking of all the stupid thoughts that kept popping in my head. objected me from thinking of the happier times in my life more than the sad and painful times.

Inbam intha bodaiyalaye

Wish I could just take away the pain. I don't like myself. I don't wana go through what ever I am going through right now. Even a happy song like the one I am listening to sounds so depressing and makes me want to hurt myself. I don't want this feeling to stay. Prefer just killing myself. If only I had the courage to do something like that. I don't even have to go through this feeling cos I wont be here anymore. Wow. I am talking utter crap. I don't know whom else to tell how I feel. I cant stop myself from thinking all this shit. I hate myself.

Its a century... :D

I am surprised I wrote 100 posts on my blog. :) No wonder I ve crossed 14,000 tweets on twitter :P I guess I shouldn't be surprised after all. :P I am glad in a way because most of my posts on the blog are always when I am happy :) It reminds me of all the happy moments I 've spent. *unlike the photos that I keep loosing* ;) I also realized I use a lot of smileys *giggle giggle*

I came on my blog to write a sad blog about how I feel but felt the 100th post was not supposed to be something "SAD". It is more like, when sachin tendulkar hits a century and India losses the match. :P

Thats it for the special 100th post. guess there was nothing as special, but 100 is a special number. After all. Glad, I've made it so far. Hopefully, will be making another century soon. with that note this post comes to an end. :)

P.S - Not all my blog posts have been published. So, officially this is not the 100th post :P

IF I WERE

If I were the girl whom everyone loved, If I were the one who attracted the crowd,

you wouldn't feel a thing and yet feel it is all just fun.

If I were to hang out with guys and guys loved my company,

I don't give a damn about you and enjoy the presence of another guy whom I like,

Put my hands over his shoulders and giggle in his ear.

If I was the girl whom everyone loved,

I wonder if you would still feel the same.

I am sure you still will because there are so many "IF'S" in what I just said

and you don't think any of this would come true.

I wish I could be the perfect girl for you.

I wish I din't complain as often.

I also wish that you din't bother realizing that you ignored me,

The damage is done and it is better left unattended.

P.S - I still love you.