My day... My bday...

The best birthday i ve had in raichur. . . It was my birthday yesterday (23rd of june) pretty good actually a lot better than what I had expected from this place.

My class guys and a few very close gals in collage gave me a VERY HUGE SURPRISE PARTY!!!... Was so elated...:) I thought I should write this blog than itself but dint really get time to go to the net or have the patience to write from my phone.

Every guy in my class gave me a rose (that was so sweet of them) than they gave me a teddy ( which I named "koniey" )made me cut a bun with candles on it and than a cake on which it was written "Happy Birthday Angel" that was sooooo sweet of them to write something like that, Finally all of us had our dinner and went back to hostel.







Did have a few bad experience like usual but at least I had fun on my day , I am happy about that ,very much happy about it....

Happy Sad Me...

It was just about half an hour back that I cried for no sensible reason, as usual.But I know it has something to do with my birthday coming up (which I hate but still remain excited) And the next thing I remember is I am really happy for the reason being that my brother actually started going to work( well, not actually but ya he wil be, tomorrow, for his training ).This is what people call mind swing. I feel really proud about my brother, wonder how my parents and specially my grandfather must be feeling, I am sure he will go further more. It just seems like yesterday that me and my bro were running around in sembulipuram in our white pieces and can't believe my brother who keeps annoying me EVERYTIME is actually going to earn money. Feeling low again because I have already spent 20 years of my life, with family, friends, been through so many different situations, had major crushes, been in a relationship, broke up, been a jerk, had fun, enjoyed life, lead a regretless(probablly not even a word) life so far regarding what ever I have done, and nothing is ever going to come back.
I am a terrible blogger of that I am sure.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I just don't wana think much about it. Want to try to let things go however they go not like I can control but just wana try stop thinking for A DAY.

Why?

Why is it that the only thing that I ever think of is about a guy?

Why do I always try to be (or pretend) like I care a damn about everything when I know that deep down inside I do care about it?

Why do I never share my feelings to anyone who actually cares a lot about me?

Why do I always end up doing the wrong things when I try to use my brain?

Why do I always bitch around about people(specially girls) when I start hating them?

Why does everything in my life always have to end with something related to "guys"?

Why cant I think or wait for people before taking the wrong move or uttering the wrong word?

Why do I always pretend like my entire life is over?

I can keep writing a huge list of questions like these forever.
After all I am a human.Everyone knows that he or she is not perfect, but we still try to make ourselves close to perfect.I don't really have an aim or an ambition yet as such but I just know I want to be someone. Not just be known as Prasanna's sister (like in all my school life) or Kalpana's daughter (like among my relatives) or Radhakrishna's daughter(among my family friends) or being called so and so's wife after I get married. I want to make my own identity.I want people to know me as me. But where do i start? I m so confused that I don't even know why I am talking all this. Just waiting for some day when I am atleast clear about what exactly I am doing.

Updates:- was niharika's bday today , called her home but she was not at home and I don't have her phone number. HAPPY B'DAY NEHA!

Count down:-Only 5 more days left......

??????>>>>>,,,,,...............

I know I am supposed to change right now, its tough but I am trying and I know its for my good.I hope I have at least one guy who I don't treat the other way around I am trying very hard not to do it, I JUST HOPE I DON'T CHANGE to that previous old me, which I totally don't want to be. I think i can stay out of it if guys stop being sweet with me specially guys who I like ( which also should be stopped ) this whole thing is about vivek. Dumb yet a sweet guy and sometimes sensible, funny, hates seeing others unhappy. Thats what I hate about him he doesn't like to see me all depressed and sad when I have these stupid idiotic mood swings for no particular and sensible reason but just the way he acts with me makes him kind of special which I don,t want to happen. I don,t mind all this later but now now at least not after all that I've gone through.

Fingers crossed for the best not to change.


COUNTDOWN CONTINUES....... 11 days more to go...............



...

New phirend..... and stuff going on right now.

Nothing much to tell about him.But off late kinda got addicted talking to this new guy i ve met, lol actualli esha's friend.He's a really sweet guy, pretends like everything is fine with him, hardly tells stuff about himself but speaks a LOTTTTT specially about others but stil its ok. Esha will screw me if she come to know i ACTUALLY WROTE A POST about him, lol. Anyway, I am back to collage and wont be talking much with him will just keep him aside for a few days. Maintain a low profile with him for a few days.Rest all fine.

I had my first class today after ONE MONTH and 8 days.(:P).

Spoke to alekhya after a long time because she was busy partying with her family in U.S.A, even she is back to collage.

I am actually feeling a bit low by just thinkin that I will be done with collage in another 16 to 18 months at the max.( even though i hated this place I am begining to feel its not so bad after all (:D)

I feel like reading some books but, damn cant even buy books here.( not that I love reading books or sumthin but generally, actually I want to read angels and demons. I know its been ages since that book came out but wasn't really interested then want to read the book now(:p) )Actually Vivek wanted the book so badly so i was wondering why not try reading it once and give him the same book.

My roomie again not talkin properly with me. GOD!!!.... She is so annoying, although I don't really care about her. She is still my roomie I have to see her the wholeday right from when I wake up till I sleep and seeing her with that weird annoying face like she is pissed off with me is even more irritating.Things will be fine I know :).

Haven't spoken to Naga ever since I came back to collage.


COUNTDOWN BEGINS!!!!....
20 MORE DAYS TO GO.....
EXCITED & NOT EXCITED ALSO AT THE SAME TIME....:P


CHEERS!!!!!.........

P.S-The guy, the new firend I was talkin about was vivek...

June.AGAIN.......!

I just have to face this.Lol. I act as if my world is over that is because of this place it makes me feel like that. Its june again and I have to celebrate my birthday again. I am sure there will not be much change this time aswel. The best thing right now is I get to blog again like before by just lying there on my bed with all those thoughts running from my head and directly to my fingers because I got back opera mini in my phone.Yeahhh...!!!

Happiness aside. The biggest thing right now in my head my exams , internals actually but they do matter a lot and everything I ve studied is in my head but all scattered very very very confusing..:-( GOD PLEASE HELP ME......
Well its ok even if I don't get good marks but I hope I atleast get da confidence to write well. Fingers crossed.